Page 48 of Shelter for Shay
But the one thing Margaret Whitaker always demanded in life… was honesty. She couldn’t stand lying. She got enough of that from her students. She had to extract the truth from them like she were a dentist. She gave them grace because she often understood why. Their lives were chaos and often the only thing that gave them peace were the lies they told in order to quiet the noise. “Why would she lie about this? My father didn’t want me. Big deal. Why make up a story about being married, divorced, and changing my name if all that happened was she got pregnant and he said, sorry, not gonna have anything to do with that?”
“We have no idea what actually happened,” Moose said softly.
“She could’ve been having an affair,” Todd offered. “What about that cabin she used to go to when she wanted a moment to herself? Some time away from school and all the troubled souls.”
“She always told us that it belonged to an old friend from college,” Shay said. “Someone who let her use it when things got tough or she just needed a break. She didn’t go there often.”
“But it’s something to consider, especially since this Bradley guy was married,” Moose said.
“But your friend at the Refuge said he’d been married for twenty-five years,” Shay said. “He wouldn’t have been married when I was conceived.”
“There are any number of scenarios that could play out.” Becca pointed to the window. “What about asking Mrs. Pewter? She’s lived here forever and she would have been here when your mom moved in.”
“I asked her once.” Shay nodded. “She said when we first moved here, my mom didn’t socialize much. That she was busy with school and me. But a man did come and go sometimes. I showed her that picture my mom gave me, and she didn’t know if it was the same guy or not.”
“Your mother said your dad traveled a lot for work,” Becca said.
“She did, but that doesn’t matter if she lied about everything.” Shay moved toward the small table near the window. She filled her glass and sighed. Staring out into the dark night, she thought about her childhood. Really examined what she thought she knew. Her life hadn’t been easy, but it hadn’t been hard either. While she hadn’t all the things her friends had growing up—she did have love.
Moose came up behind her, wrapping his strong hands around her middle. “Regardless of what we’ve uncovered or what it might mean, your mom, she loved you and that matters.”
“Then why create such an elaborate lie?”
“Maybe because she was only nineteen when she got pregnant with you,” Becca offered gently. “Maybe she thought she was protecting you, or herself. It wasn’t easy for her to raise a child alone, but to do it with the stigma of no husband, that’s hard.”
“We’re only talking twenty-eight years ago,” Shay said, turning to face her best friend. “Women were raising kids alone all the time. There’s no shame in it.”
“I wish that were true,” Todd said. “There’s a young woman in my office right now who’s single and pregnant. The father doesn’t want any part of her or the child’s life, and she’s pretty happy about that. I feel bad for her because half the office judges her behind her back, making comments about how she should have done something else or made a different decision. It’s painful for me to watch because if she had an abortion or was giving that child up, those same people would still be judging.”
“So, you think my mom made up this elaborate lie about a husband who left us because she was worried about being judged?” Shay asked with more frustration than she’d meant. “That doesn’t sound like my mom.”
“Maybe not. But we didn’t know her when she was nineteen.” Becca rose. “Think about how different we were back then.”
“Okay. I can see how she might have been a scared young girl,” Shay said. “But why not tell me my father died? Why tell me he left us? Left me?” Shay tapped the center of her chest. “That’s given me all sorts of issues.”
“Okay. All these what-ifs aren’t helping.” Moose shifted his stance, bending over and lifting his bourbon, taking a hefty gulp. “We’ve got that meeting with someone from Katie Donovan’s office tomorrow. I believe his name is Rufus Brown. Katie said he did a stint with the New York City PD before coming up here.”
“I’ve met him,” Todd said. “Seems like a solid dude.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry to say, but Becca and I need to get going. We’ve got a teenage babysitter tonight who can’t stay out too late.”
“I totally understand.” Shay set her glass down and walked her friends to the front door. She hugged Becca and said her goodbyes. She stood there, hugging her middle, feeling the cool autumn air smack her skin. She closed her eyes and let the tears come silently, her jaw locked tight, throat burning.
“Hey now. Don’t cry.” Moose pulled her against him and held her there, his hand running slow circles over her back.
“I should have asked more questions when she was alive.” Shay dropped her head to Moose’s shoulder and sighed. “I knew something didn’t add up, and yet I ignored it.”
He tilted her chin with his thumb. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. There was no reason for you to believe anything other than what she told you. Now, let’s go inside. I’ll clean up while you take a nice long hot bath. Then we can watch that movie you were talking about.”
“Sounds perfect.” She laced her fingers with his and followed him into the house. She had no idea how she’d get through any of this when he returned to Virginia in a couple of days.
God, she hoped she didn’t get called for jury duty.
12
MOOSE – LAKE GEORGE, NEW YORK
The old diner on the corner of Main and Warren hadn’t changed in sixteen years. The vinyl on the booths was held together by duct tape. The lighting made the place look as though it were in a constant state of haze. The wallpaper was stained with grease and every condiment known to man.
But the smells were pure decadence. His nose had been assaulted with all the possibilities, and his taste buds were running from his mouth in search of all the treats. The French toast double-dipped in eggs and cooked to perfection. The crispy bacon. The homemade hashbrowns. And the pastries… God, the pastries were to freaking die for.
