Page 52 of The Long Way
“Anyway, I was a dumbass. He would blow hot and cold, all over me one day and then cold-shouldering me the next. It was one of those things where he was happy to ignore me until the second he had any inkling I was going to hook up with someone else, and then suddenly he’d call me again, or stop by my apartment at school out of the blue and we’d end up sleeping together. I always… I always just assumed it was because of my dad. He didn’t want to get too close because he was worried about getting caught.”
Damon frowned. “Don’t you think it was?”
Cain shook his head and finally put words to the thought that had been nagging him more and more often these days, as he realized just what his father was capable of. “I think he was getting close to me because my father asked him to. To keep me quiet and contained, just in case I ever considered doing something truly terrible, like defying the family and coming out.”
Damon inhaled sharply, and Cain noticed that his hand was clenched into a white-knuckled fist. “Jesus. Just when I think I understand just how awful your father can be…”
Cain shrugged, because what was there to say?
“It was never a dating thing. Looking back, after the first initial bit it was just a series of hookups. We never went out, we never talked about anything serious. I was naive, and Jesus, I was lonely.” He laughed. “I made it into something it wasn’t.” Cain raised an eyebrow at Damon. “Guess Jack was getting his needs met elsewhere, too?”
Damon rolled his eyes and gave an exaggerated shudder, and suddenly it was okay again. Not quite funny, but… less awful. Not the shameful, horrible thing he’d tormented himself with.
Cain ran a hand through his hair before putting it back on the steering wheel. Eli’s shampoo smelled like mint and medicine, and now Cain’s hair had the same scent. Damon’s too. Was it weird to be excited because he and Damon smelled the same?
God. Would he ever learn not to make things into a bigger deal than they were?
He cleared his throat. “So, uh. Maybe you can tell me your shitty story now and make me feel a little less stupid?”
Damon huffed and reached over to run his knuckle down Cain’s cheek. No doubt Cain’s face was tomato-red.
“You weren’t stupid, baby” Damon said, and Cain glanced at him. “Believe it. You were young and he took advantage of you. I didn’t have that excuse.” Damon’s hand dropped to the center console, and he wiped absently at a line of dust there. “You know I’m a pilot and a mechanic?”
Cain nodded.
“I worked at Central, the little regional airport your dad liked to fly into whenever he came to Boston on business, and I flew most of the charter flights. Jack introduced himself to me as your dad’s pilot, and we became friends. We’d go out for drinks whenever he was in town, which was pretty often. Hell, we’d commiserate about how shitty our employers were. It took a month, or maybe a little longer, before we slept together.”
From the corner of his eye, Cain could see Damon darting a glance at him.
“I’m sure he was working on your father’s orders, then, too. But I was almost forty, so if either of us should have known better, it was me.”
Cain’s heart twisted at the pain in Damon’s voice.
“He’s a shithead who knows how to say exactly what you want to hear,” Cain spat.
“Well, if that’s true for me, it’s gotta be true for you, too.”
“Both of us just got played by a pro, then?” Cain mused. “Yeah. I guess. I can accept that.”
“He was the last person I had sex with,” Damon said. “Until the other night with you.”
Cain’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yep.”
“Me too,” Cain admitted, then he started laughing again and Damon joined in. “This is so fucked up.”
“Sofucked up,” Damon agreed, rubbing his fingers across his eyes. “But you know what? I don’t give a shit.”
Cain kept his eyes on the road. “You don’t?”
“I don’t,” Damon said. “I’m done thinking about him.” He reached over to squeeze Cain’s hand where it rested on the steering wheel.
Cain grinned and put the directional on, pulling into the parking lot of a fast food restaurant and sliding the car into Park.
“What are we doing here?” Damon asked.
“We’re getting close to the city,” Cain told him. “And it’s time to finalize our plan.”
