Page 43 of The Fall
I frowned. “I guess that’s true. I hadn’t thought of it that way.” Which was pretty much the thing I thought most often when I was with Everett Maior. He made me think differently about so many things, andI liked it.“I mean, O’Leary lives to remember thetragedy.”
“But that’s not the same either. Your parents are grieving the future, and O’Leary’s remembering the past, but you just miss your brother. Right? You want to remember him as he was, and not the way they think ofhim.”
My heart squeezed painfully tight. “Yeah.”
Ev closed his eyes and sighed like he totally understood. We keptwalking.
“Part of the problem is that his best friend died at the same time he did,” I said a moment later. “I mean, if there was anyone else who got him the way I did, it was Molly. I miss hertoo.”
“I can seethat."
“You know, she used to work out here at the campground. Technically, she was supposed to handle summer bookings for Myrna and Frank, but I don’t know how much time she ever spent in the office.” I tried for a smile, but it felt foreign on my face. “She was a brilliant photographer. You can see some of her stuff over at Frank and Myrna’s place. She’d take a picture of something and I’d suddenly see it in a different way. Just like you were talking about with the kids at yourschool.”
Ev smiled. “I lovethat.”
“Yeah. It's funny. They were way younger than me. Eight years. Which is, like, a hundred lifetimes when you’reyoung.”
“How old are you?” Ev asked. “Thirty-eight?”
“Uh huh. Matty would have been thirty this year.” My chest tightened around thewords.
“Well, remember I’m twenty-nine,” Ev teased. “Does that make memorethan a hundred lifetimes younger thanyou?”
I hip-checked him lightly and hechuckled.
“And he drew?” Ev prompted carefully. “Caricatures and otherthings?”
I laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, he just…” I broke off and shook my head, feeling the smile fall from my face. “I’ve never been as good at anything as he was at drawing. Everyone said hehada gift, but I thought… I thought hewasa gift. I walk through these woods and I seesugar maples, and squirrels, and chipmunks, but he sawlightand life and color. He could make things dance in twodimensions.”
I chanced a glance at Ev, and found that his eyes were closed and he wore a small smile. “Sorry,” I said. “I get carriedaway.”
His eyes popped open, and they were shining. “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. I sometimes wish I could talk…" He shook his head. "Never mind. That was beautiful. I think anyone would be proud to be remembered thatway.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, well. I try to see things the way he saw them now, but I don’t have the same talent. It’s a little bit like looking at one of those hidden-image pictures, you know? The ones where you try to lookthroughthe shapes and colors and hope something pops out at you in 3-D?”
Ev chuckled. “I know what youmean.”
“I have a fifty-fifty success rate.” I shrugged, then admitted, “It was easier when he was alive.” A lot of things were easier when Matty wasalive.
Ev’s hand tightened on mine to the point of pain, but I didn’t protest. “You loved him. Both of them,” hesaid.
“Of course. My brother and my honorary sister.” I paused. “Not that they were involved romantically, though. People used to speculate — that’s O’Leary’s favorite pastime, if you hadn’t noticed — but there was nothing there. Molly dated Shane Goode from the diner forever. I bet she would’ve married him aftercollege.”
Ev frowned and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve metShane.”
“He was at the diner this morning. Tall, thin, long dark hair, probably said hi when you came in? No? Well, he’s easy enough to overlook. He’s a good kid. Moody, sometimes, but I get it. He didn’t have anyone in his life but Molly, really. Now he goes to work every day and his manager is Molly’s older brother, Jamie.” I winced. “Not easy to live with those remindersconstantly.”
“Yeah,” Ev said softly. “It’s noteasy.”
The path through the woods was steep and covered with slippery pine needles. I gave Ev a little push, letting him go in front of me so I could catch him if he fell. But he surprised me by turning right in the middle of the path and looking at medefiantly.
“My husband Adrian died last June. I mean, a year ago June. Fifteen… no, sixteen months ago?” He frowned like he was surprised it had been that long. “I don’t… I don’t talk about it. But I thought you shouldknow.”
My jaw dropped. He’d lost hishusband? When Mitch said he’d heard Ev had a hell of a year I’d imagined… I dunno, a job loss or something. The kind of tragedy a twenty-nine-year-oldshouldhave to handle. Pretty dumb of me not to remember that life handed out shit regardless of age orstation.
“Ev,” I said. “Fuck. That’sjust…”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah itis.”
