Page 105 of The Secret
For a second, my mother gaped like a fish—such an unusual reaction for her that I would have enjoyed it… if I wasn’t basically doing the same fucking thing.
“Charlotte thought it was good for me to know, since it involved the Gaynors,” she sniffed. “And I appreciated her being forthcoming, since neither ofyouthought to mention it to me.” She shifted her glare to me.
I shook my head. “Yeah, in case you hadn’t caught it, Mama, I wasn’t aware either. Until now.”
Micah leaned against the file cabinet at the back of the room wearily. “Ironically, I didn’t want you to be upset, Con.”
“Yeah?” I huffed. “Good plan. Nice work.”
“Constantine,” Micah began, but I lifted a hand to cut him off.
“What’s the rest?” I asked my mother. “The lenders? Sending you business?”
Mama looked from me to Micah. She hesitated a bit, like the wind had gone out of her sails. “He’s been sending me referrals. More than one potential client over the holidays saidhewasn’t accepting new business.”
“You told me things were slow,” I reminded Micah. “No calls coming in, but that was okay, because it meant you could spend time with me, and with Lauren and Leandra and the kids.”
Micah watched me warily.
“The kids?” My mother looked between the two of us like we were some species of flower she’d never seen… and didn’t particularly enjoy. “You’ve met his family?”
“Yes, of course.” I waved a hand dismissively. “Micah, why would you do that? And why would you lie?”
“I wanted Ross to stay solvent and I knew you wouldn’t let me help any other way. In my mind,” he said slowly. “It wasn’t much different from what I did over the summer, giving up the contract at the Crabapple so Ross could stay afloat.”
“You didwhat?” my mother gasped. “You told him that, Constantine?”
“No,” I murmured, feeling sick and scared and completely untethered to the ground. “I didn’t.”
“Jesus Christ.” Micah scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “I overheard you talking. At the farmer’s market. Back in the spring. The day you were such a little shit, Constantine.”
I forced a laugh because I wanted to cry. “God. Which time?”
Micah closed his eyes again, like my joke had made him sadder than anything else in this conversation. “The same day we met at The Hive.”
“Ah, of course.” I gave an exaggerated frown. “That makes sense.”
He’d come to find me not because he actually needed skilled help—Jesus, how had I ever let myself believe that?—but because he knew I couldn’t say no.
“Con,” he started again, but I shook my head.
“Get it all out,” I told my mother. “Rip the Band-Aid off. What else ya got?”
“Well, I…” She sounded unsure. “This lender on your plan.” She tapped the page. “They’re a broker that connects small businesses with angel investors.”
“Yeah, I know.” It was, like, the one thing in the universe I could say that about right now.
She licked her lips. “Well, that means it’s not a sure thing. I don’t know ifhetold you that. It could take a long time to find someone unless you already have an investor lined up. I’ve tried to use them in the past, and I’ve found…”
“It’s a sure thing,” Micah interrupted.
Mama looked at him with her eyes narrowed, then suddenly they widened in shock as some understanding passed between them.
“I’m missing something,” I said to no one in particular. “I mean, I can’t imagine why this is a shock to me, considering all that I’ve been missing for the last seven months. In fact, it’s amazing that I manage to find my way home at the end of the day. It’s amazing I remember how to dress myself properly, for I am surely the most idiotic idiot who’s ever walked the face of the earth.”
“No.Christ. Constantine, that’s the last—”
Micah took a step toward me, and I could tell just by the look on his face that he wanted to wrap his arms around me. It was the thing I wanted most in the world and also the thing I wanted least. So I backed up until I was pressed against the giant white board, and I shook my head.
