Page 34 of The Secret
She sighed. “In general.”
“Sure. We met for breakfast before the farmer’s market last weekend. Why?”
“It was so warm yesterday, I was concerned about him, but he didn’t answer my calls.” She sounded half-worried, half-annoyed.
“Mama, he’s twenty-nine, and he works like crazy.”
“So?”
“So, Julian can take care of himself. Besides, his apartment has central air and so does the vet clinic.I’mmore likely to have heatstroke than he is. But I won’t,” I added quickly. “I stay hydrated. I just mean he’s an adult who can take care of himself. Just like I can.”
“I suppose.” She narrowed her eyes and peered at me across the table. “Where areyouheaded at this hour?”
“Uh. Work. There’s always paperwork to be done. Gotta get a… jumpstart.” I swung my fist in an arc.
“You’re going to the station dressed like that?” Her eyes narrowed. “Where’s your uniform?”
“Oh.”Fuck. “Mitch doesn’t mind how I dress when I’m not on duty.”
Another day, another secret closer to a lie.
“Hmm. Well, don’t forget that you’ve got to head to the Aaronsons’ this afternoon. They need the back yard treated for—”
I waved a dismissive hand. “I know, Mama. It’s been on the calendar for weeks. What’s on your mind besides Jules lying cooked to death somewhere and my lack of uniform?” I knew there was more.
Mama scratched at her ear. “One of the sprinkler systems in the nursery needs fixing. It’s going to be a couple of thousand dollars.”
My stomach dropped. “Thousands?”
She nodded. “I was sure it was going to last the summer so we’d have a chance to get ahead of it, but Carlos says it’s a lost cause. I’m going to get another loan.”
“Mama,” I protested.
She held up a hand, palm out. “I’m not asking your permission, Con. It’s what needs to be done, and it’ll be fine.”
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t be stressing about it at three in the morning.”
She said nothing.
“Look, I’m not a child. I keep saying this, you keep claiming you understand, but I don’t think you do.” I ran both hands through my hair in frustration. “We can’t keep taking out loans against the business with no way to pay them.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, Constantine,” she snapped. “But sometimes there’s no choice unless you want to give it up altogether.”
I pushed my fingers into my eyes. “Those are the choices? Throw good money after bad, or close down completely? Maybe you could let me look things over. Maybe there’s a way we could cut expenses or a better way to advertise to bring in new clients. Or we could take on bigger jobs, like I’ve suggested in the past.”
This was the part where I should have shut up.
I mean, really, that part had come the minute I sat down, because if I’d kept quiet, I’d have been on my way to Micah’s instead of digging a hole for myself. But instead, I’d opened my mouth, and suddenly the words were rolling out with all the destructive force of a runaway locomotive.
This was not the time to talk about this—literally, given that it was dark o’clock, and we were both exhausted. Plus, I’dpromisedmyself after last time that I wouldn’t bring up my landscape design dreams for the business again until I’d proven to her that I was responsible enough to bring them to reality, and she’d have no choice but to take me seriously. But once these words had started spewing out, once I’d seen her eyes glint the way they only did when she wastrulyangry, I knew my only hope was to keep talking. To convince her.
Because that had worked so well every other time I’d tried it.
“I have so many ideas. We could take on more clients. We could do bigger jobs, get commissions. You know, after the thing with Ms. Semple a couple of years ago—and you were right, Mama, we really couldn’t have handled that then—I have learnedsomuch. I’ve taken online courses, and I’ve studied extensively. And, um, recently I’ve been learning bookkeeping and marketing too. I could help. Iwantto help. You shouldn’t have to handle all this stuff on your own when two heads are better than—”
She looked at me incredulously, and I ran out of steam.
“Constantine. Ross. I have been doing these books foryears. I have been running this businessby myselffor years. I have been making the decisions and finding the money and keeping things afloatfor years.”
