Page 46 of The Secret
I carefully peeled the wrapper from the sides and set it on my knee like a plate, then split the muffin precisely into quarters.
Con frowned. “What’s that mean? I always tell the truth.”
I shot him a sideways glance. “Not technically lying isn’t the same as volunteering the truth.”
“Wow.” Con grabbed a muffin from the bag and lifted it to his mouth to take a huge bite, all in one smooth motion. “That was deep, Micah.”
I shook my head again and took another bite of muffin, washing it down with my lukewarm coffee. It was unreasonable to be disappointed that he didn’t want to share. If there was one thing I’d learned in my forty years, it was that you could only lead an unwilling person so far. It went against my nature to just give up, but if Con didn’t want to talk he wouldn’t. Whatever life-changing realizationsIhad been coming to about my attraction to Constantine, didn’t meanhewas feeling anything—
“Okay, fine. My dad died when I was fourteen,” Con said in a rush. “Not exactly a state secret.”
I turned my head against the railing and looked at him, my heart kicking up. “I’ve heard that. Must’ve been hard.”
Con nodded. “It was sudden. Don’t know if you knew that part.”
I shook my head.
“Heart attack. He was really young. And that’s part of why I startedacting out.” He sounded like he was quoting someone from long ago. “You know about all that.”
“Not really, though.” He gave me a skeptical look and I shrugged. “Did you draw dick pics in a bathroom stall? Did you get a girl pregnant? Did you have a chicken race and someone went over a cliff? How would I know? Hardly anyone in this town talks to me, besides you.”
“A chicken race. Off a cliff?”
“Never seenRebel Without a Cause? James Dean?”
Constantine shook his head slowly.
“Oh, God, you’re missing out. James Dean in black leather is… veryinspiring.” I waggled my eyebrows. “I have it on tape—watched it like four hundred times when I was a teenager. You can borrow it.”
“I can borrow… the tape?” He bit his lip and his eyes danced. “Like, an actual tape that you need to rewind? If I wave it near my laptop, will it sync?”
I sighed. Like I needed a further reminder of the difference in our ages. “Never mind, millennial.”
He leaned over and pushed at my knee. “We can watch it together sometime.”
“Don’t placate me, youngster.”
Con laughed and gave me a sly smile. “See,that’snot what you were saying an hour ago.” He took another bite of his muffin.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s get back to Con’s teenaged rebellion.”
Con groaned and heaved a sigh that mingled with the wind brushing through the grass. “Must we?”
“No,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not gonna push you to talk. I’m not gonna push you to do anything.”
He rolled his eyes. “The guilt. Theguilt. It crushes meeeee.”
I put my hand on his leg and squeezed gently to get his attention. “That’s not guilt, Con. That’s honesty.”
He looked at me and sucked in a breath through his nose, then let it out slowly. He licked his lips.
“The thing is, it’s weird to talk about because I’ve never met anyone I had totellabout it. You know?”
“Yeah.” I thought of my family bullshit. “I know exactly.”
“And it’s also weird because it feels like I’m talking about some…other personwho did these things. Drinking. Fighting. Drinkingthenfighting. Driving without a license. It was only maybe ten years ago, but I look back and thinkwho the fuckwasthat kid? But it was me. There’s a record at the O’Leary Police Department that says so. Fingerprints.” He held up his outstretched palm and gave me a rueful smile that faded quickly into a wary expression.
“What’s that look for? You think I’m going to judge you?”
