Page 74 of The Secret
“You’re not gonna let that go, huh?”
“Hmm. No.” I rested my head against his shoulder.
“So I probably shouldn’t remind you I once called you a menace?” His arm wrapped around my waist and held me tight. “Or said that you live to provoke me?”
I laughed. “The last one’s true, so I can’t argue. And besides, youlike me,despite all that. So who’s really the crazy one here?”
Micah smiled. “Oh, it’s me.” He kissed me swiftly. “Definitely me.”
We sat together in silence for a minute, then Micah said, “You know, you told me you were interested in landscape design. I had no idea justhowinterested.”
I grinned. “Is the level of my obsession scary?”
“Not even a little. But…” He took a deep breath, like he was steeling himself to say something. “It makes it hard to understand why you’re working part time at the police station and part time mowing lawns whenthisis what you need to be doing. Design jobs. Building huge gardens. Learning aboutpermaculture.”
I dug the toes of my sneakers into the soft grass. “Well, we’ve talked about why I can’t go after big dreams right now. But I’m totally stealing the Barrett’s planting scheme for next spring, especially if we’re still doing the exterior planting for the Crabapple.” I smiled up at him. “Think I could take pictures on the way out? Maybe if you posed in front of the garden—”
Micah squeezed my waist tighter, interrupting me. “Okay, back up. This is not a big dream. This is not you saying, ‘I want to play the kazoo at Madison Square Garden.’ This is you realizing that you have something you’re very interested in, which you also have experience with, and a talent for. It drives me crazy that you won’t make this happen.”
“But you have a hard-on for cra—”
He shook his head. “Nope. Not jokey time right now, Con.” Thestop deflectingwas subtle, but it was there.
I sighed. “Look, you don’t get my situation with my mother. Maybe I haven’t explained this properly. I’ve discussed my landscape design idea with her onmanyoccasions over the last couple years. She’s not convinced it’s the right thing to do.”
“But—”
“You know Pearl Semple?” I interrupted. “Miss Pearl, from the antique store?”
Micah frowned. “I think so. Older woman? Kinda… mean?”
“Yeah.” I smiled fondly. “She’s kinda cranky, but she’s always been sweet to me. Anyway, she’s got this huge Victorian right on the edge of town, and maybe two years ago this past spring, she wanted something special in her side yard, something in keeping with the style of the house, right? I knewnothingabout this stuff at the time. Hadn’t even considered it. That was my dad’s thing, you know? And that whole part of the business died along with him. But like I said, Miss Pearl’s always been nice to me, so I did a bunch of research online, took measurements, and sketched it all out for her. The wrought iron fence, the crushed stone path, the fountain, the low hedges. She already had a rose garden, but she wanted a bunch of other flowers, too—chrysanthemums and marigolds and cockscomb, and big hydrangea bushes for cutting. So I told her how they needed to be laid out, how to get the height she needed and all that, you know?”
“I know exactly what you mean. And now that you describe it, I know the house you’re talking about, too. You designed that?”
“No. I mean,yes, but not officially. She, um, loved the design. She wanted me to do it.Usto do it,” I clarified. “Ross Landscaping. So, I talked to my mother, told her I had a design client all lined up, I was ready to jump in with two feet. But she said no. Too much work, not enough experience. ‘Ms. Semple deserves a professional, Constantine.’ And my mother was right.”
Micah set his jaw. “She wasn’t. Youarea professional.”
I appreciated his words, but there was something about his attitude that nevertheless pissed me off. He was listening, but he wasn’t hearing me.
“No, shewas.At that time, anyway. Because yeah I knew exactly what Miss Pearl’s garden needed, but I had no clue how to make it happen. I had a vision, but I couldn’t run pipe, or install fencing, or handle the ins and outs of dealing with subcontractors. It was really disappointing, but I wasn’t prepared. And my mother knew it.” I blew out a breath. “So, I learned. I studied. I took online classes. Now Idoknow how to do those things. I just have to be patient and prove it to her.”
Micah shook his head. “You don’t have to, though. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You don’t have to wait for some magical, mystical time when she gets on board in order to start doing the things you want to do. You can take out loans. I could help you.”
I turned to him, shocked. “Help me withloans, sugar daddy?”
Micah’s eyelid twitched and he hesitated.
I laughed out loud, immeasurably relieved. “Yeah, no. That’s not us. You don’t feel comfortable havingyourboyfriend clean out the buckets, Mr. Bloom, and I’m sure as shit not taking money frommine.”
“Get it on your own, then. If you’ve got a good plan, banks will—”
“I know,” I said, holding up a hand to stop him. “Look, I know I could. But meanwhile, my relationship with my mother would be fucked for the rest of eternity. And it wouldn’t be Ross Landscape Design. It wouldn’t be a part of something my dad created. So is it worth it to do that, especially given all I owe my mother? Is it really necessary when I could just… wait?” I ducked my head to catch Micah’s eyes. “This is me being mature and responsible, Micah. Patient. Which is hard for me. But this is my choice. My timeline. My family. And,” I added jokingly, “you have no clue what my mother is capable of when it comes to holding a grudge.” I fake-shuddered.
Micah stared at me for a minute, his jaw working. I could practically see him fighting back the need to speak. I summoned a smile, one I hoped conveyed how much I didn’t want him to be pissy, as well as how sincerely I did not want to discuss this topic right now.
Or ever again.
