Page 92 of Pick Me
That should have been my first clue that something was wrong, but I missed it.
I slammed the truck door closed and raced around to the back door and into the office like a kid on Christmas morning, beyond eager to see Gage.
I threw open the closed office door. “Hey, Goodman, what do you say we—”
But the office was empty. The lights were off, and Gage’s laptop was gone.
I grinned.Perfect. Gage had already decided to work upstairs, meaning I wouldn’t have to convince him at all.
I jogged back outside and saw Hawk wave from the back porch of the farmhouse. “Knox, hey! Come over.”
I lifted a hand in greeting but didn’t slow down as I took the steps to the apartment two at a time, holding the railing so I wouldn’t slip on the quickly accumulating snow. “Yeah, later!”
He probably wants to know how Jack was, I thought with a smirk. And I understood why, because in a full 180-degree, who-the-hell-am-I-anyway about-face, I’d become a sap who was in love with love.
I’d fought it and fought it and fought it, just like Gage had said, and then I’d changed my opinion all at once. But I wasn’t pretending the change was my idea—this was all thanks to Gage Goodman.
I tried the doorknob, but it didn’t budge, which was unusual unless Gage and I were fucking. I got out my keys and unlocked it, wondering what Gage had thought he needed privacy for. I had a few ideas, and they all made my stomach clench in anticipation.
But I could tell the moment I opened the door that the place wasn’t occupied. No Gage, no laptop, no heavy coat on the peg by the door.
Damn it.He was over at the farmhouse eating lunch. I groaned as I shut the door again, preparing myself to be polite and civil to my family and not literally drag Goodman out of there by his pretty, just-fucked hair so I could do unspeakable—
“Knox.” Webb greeted me at the bottom of the stairs, along with Hawk, who looked subdued. “Y’okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great.” I grinned. “Better than I’ve been in a while.” Acknowledging the truth apparently did that for a person.
Webb’s mouth pulled down, like he hadn’t expected that response. “Everything went well at Jack’s, then?”
I rolled my eyes. “Webb. I love you, but you have to let that die. There’s nothing between me and Jack but friendship, okay? I’m…” I started to tell Webb about my revelation, but I stopped myself. Gage deserved to hear it first. “Is Goodman at the house with Drew?” Another thought occurred to me, and I winced. “Please tell me he didn’t go to town for lunch.”
Webb and Hawk exchanged a look. “You haven’t checked your texts in a while, have you?”
I patted my pockets for my phone and frowned. “No. The service up at Jack’s place is for shit, so I shut my phone off before it killed itself trying to find a signal. Why? What’d I miss?” My pulse kicked up instinctively as I skimmed my texts. Two from Webb and one from Hawk fifteen minutes ago asking me to call home. “Where’s Goodman?”
My brothers exchanged another look, and I wanted to shake them both.
“He’s gone,” Hawk said softly. “To Boston.”
“No he’s not. We just got home yesterday.”
“He got a call earlier from the interview guy,” Webb began. “They wanted to improve their offer. Move him to New York right away. They wanted him down in Boston ASAP.”
“Fuck.” I pushed a hand through my hair. “Why didn’t he wait for me?”
Webb tilted his head in an accusatory way. “You tell me. Because Drew suggested that he shouldn’t go alone, and Gage said something about you not always being around to help him, and I know you two were fighting yesterday, and Gage lookedsadthis morning, and I swear to God, if you ran off my programmer, Knox, I’m gonna bepissed.”
“Oh.” I rubbed at the ache in the center of my chest. The idea that I’d made Gage sad, that he’d thought he couldn’t rely on me, killed me.
He hadn’t even texted to say he was leaving.
I’d fucked this up. I’d messed up completely.
My brain began a loop of awful possibilities, and in that moment they seemed as real and unavoidable as the earth’s turning. Gage wouldn’t listen to me if I apologized or told him how I felt. Gage had moved to New York and wouldn’t say goodbye. Gage was driving himself in the snow and he was going to get hurt.
I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t control any of it.
My heart rate kicked up to marathon-sprinting levels and I started panting as my lungs forgot how to expand properly. I was almost sure I was going to vomit.
