Page 79 of Pick Me
“Gage! Sorry about that.” Jason hurried back in and gave me a smile that seemed a bit forced. “My boss called. He needs me to jump on a couple of things before he arrives tomorrow, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut our meeting short.” He shrugged. “Pivoting is the name of the game around here. But can I tell him that you’ve agreed to jump on board?”
“Oh, yeah.” I nodded. “I would love to…” I broke off, my mouth gone dry. “But I’m gonna need some time to think about it first,” I concluded, shocking both of us.
The moment the words were out of my mouth, though, they felt right. I felt peaceful.
I wanted to think about this commitment a little more. I wanted to talk to people I trusted and make a rational decision. I wanted to talk to Knox, specifically, since I trusted him more than maybe anyone else in my life to give me the unvarnished truth.
Jason frowned. “Is it the salary? Because I could see if we could negotiate the salary vs. bonus if that—”
“No! Gosh, no. The salary isn’t the issue. It’s…” I hesitated, thinking about how I could present this like my Grindr ass dimples, but Knox and I hadn’t practiced what to do in the extremely fucked-up scenario where I got cold feet and choked after being offered the job I’d been gagging for. So in the end, I opted for the truth.
“It’s that I’ve spent the summer having a certain amount of autonomy, and I need to wrap my mind around being a well-paid intern on probation for a year and a half again.” I smiled ruefully. “I understand this is how companies like Rubicon work, and it makes perfect sense for you. I just want to be a hundred percent sure that it makes sense forme,because once I commit, I commit.”
“Ah.” He looked gratifyingly disappointed. “Well, fair enough. We’ll touch base in a few days, then? See if you have any more questions I can answer for you?”
I nodded. “Thanks for understanding.”
I strode out toward the elevator, eager to get out into the fresh air, and nearly ran into Myles, who was heading in the same direction.
“Gage!” He eyed me up and down and grinned. “You sure clean up nice. Did you interview with Jason?”
“Yeah! Yeah, he’s great. I’m gonna think about the job. Talk it over. That kind of thing.” Why wouldn’t this elevator come faster?
“Oh. Well, I’m sure it’ll all work out,” Myles said, making it perfectly clear he had no idea what I was talking about and didn’t care to know.
I took out my phone and sent Knox a text.Maybe I’ll let you pick me up after all if you still want to chauffeur me.
He wrote back immediately.You’re done already? Tell me how it went! No, wait. Tell me in person. On my way.
I grinned down at my phone like a sap.
“If you’re spending time down here while you make your decision, I know Curt and Rod and the others would love to hang out,” Myles said. “Maybe you can even convince Knox to have us over tohisplace for once.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged distractedly and put my phone back in my pocket. “Depends how fast it sells, I guess.”
“Sells?” Myles frowned. “Knox is selling his condo? Really? He’s always been so proud of that place.” He rolled his eyes. “I thought he was subletting it.”
“Yeah, the sublease is over. But it’s been on the market for a while. I mean, he’s living in Vermont now, and he’s way too…particularabout things to be an absentee landlord for long.” I grinned, thinkingparticularwas my new euphemism forcontrol freak.
“I suppose,” Myles said dubiously. “But why now when he’s moving back to Boston in just a few weeks?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, at the end of the year, when his mental health sabbatical is over and he’s back at Bormon Klein Jacovic, where is he going to live? Wait, are you two getting a place together? Makes sense that you’re gonna want something bigger than his one-bed. Once upon a time, I considered having someone move in with me.” He shuddered. “But the idea of having his sneakers in the same closet as my sneakers was—"
“Knox is taking a mental health sabbatical,” I repeated, not sure I’d heard right—or, more accurately, horrified to think I might possibly have heard right.
“Yes, I know,” Myles agreed slowly. “He must be dying to be back, too. He waspissedwhen his boss and the other higher-ups forced him to take time off, and probably more pissed that he needed it, but he seemed to be feeling fine at my party, so all that mantra shit must’ve worked. I’m sure he’s bored to tears up in the back end of nowhere.” He smirked and looked me up and down again. “Though clearly he’s found a distraction, hmm?”
The elevator doors opened while I was still too tongue-tied to respond.
“Later, Gage! Nice to see you again. Tell Knox I’ll be in touch,” Myles called, taking off down another hallway like he hadn’t just ruined my day.
Or, okay, that was unfair.Hehadn’t ruined my day; Knox had. Because there was no doubt in my mind that Myles was right and I was not. All the broken-off sentences and unanswered questions from every conversation Knox and I had ever had about the future slotted perfectly into place.
Knox had been planning on going back to the city all along.
And not only was I incredibly worried about that, because I didn’t believe for a second that Mr. “Push Through and Don’t Talk About Your Feelings”was making the best and most responsible choice for his mental health, I was also hurt—more than I probably had any right to be—because Knox had quickly become my confidant. Myperson. My safety.
