Page 18 of Pick One
“Your John’s the most important person to you,” Fern reiterated. “Have you ever told him this?”
“Well, no. But I’ve also never told him the sky was blue. Some things are just… obvious.” I shrugged. “Besides, guys don’t talk to their friends that way. ‘Hey, John, could you bring me a soda while you’re up? And bee-tee-dubs, you’re my favorite person in the universe! K, thanks, bro.’”
“If anyone could get away with that, you could,” Fern muttered.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t.” My cheeks got hotter, and I sucked down more liquid. “If I did, it’d seem like I wanted more than friendship.”
“And you don’t?” Monica exchanged my empty margarita glass for Fern’s, which was still mostly full.
It was funny how Monica’s glasses held less liquid than average glasses, and I was totally gonna ask her about that at some point.
“No, I do. Of course I do.” I plucked my shirt away from my body. “Is it warm in here?”
“Wait, youadmityou have romantic feelings?” Fern demanded. “For fuck’s sake, Teagan. Monica called me over here to stage an intervention—”
“Mischief and Margaritas,” Monica corrected.
“Well, we got the mischief part down,” Fern said pointedly. “But meanwhile you’re all ‘Oh, yeah, sure, of course I love him. Like it’s no big deal.’”
I shrugged. “It’s not new. I’ve loved him from the first minute. Or, okay, maybe the second,” I allowed. “You were there, Fern. On the phone, remember? You were the one who told me not to jump into things. That I had been wrong before. That I would ruin everything if I started putting all kinds of expectations on John…”
“Because you didn’t know him then!” Fern lifted a hand and let it fall. “Because you had literally met seconds before. Because you claimed you’d fallen for him and you hadn’t even asked hisname.”
I opened my mouth, then clacked it shut. That was true.
“I wanted you to wait a couple ofweeks.” Fern shook her head. “But nooo, you had to go to extremes and wait a whole yearanddecide to keep a secret for the first time in your life?”
“I wasn’t keeping a secret. It’s just… he became my best friend,” I said quietly. “I’m not justinlove with him in a romantic way, like I want to kiss the hell out of him and rub my face against his chest—”
“Seriously, Teagan, I do not need to know this shit,” Fern sighed.
“I do.” Monica clasped her chin under her hands.
“—I love him. Like, I just want to be in the same room with him. And to know that he’s well and happy. But I suck at romance,” I said softly. “I’ve been on twenty-three dates this year, and all of them were crappy. I didn’t want to fuck up my friendship with John trying for more.”
“But now John’s hurt, thinking you threw him over for Other-John,” Fern said softly.
“Because I think your John has feelings for you, too,” Monica said just as softly.
“Oh. Wow. That’s…” Despite all the fantasies I’d had about John, that was one dream I’d never dreamed. It would have been too soul-crushing to wake up from it.
I swallowed hard and set down my empty glass on the floor beside the couch. I stood up and, strangely, felt a little wobbly. “John still should have talked to me and not assumed.”
Fern nodded. Both of her. I blinked to clear my vision.
“So I’m gonna kish… I mean,kick, his ass.”
“You should,” Monica agreed happily. “Go find him and do that.”
I frowned. “But I don’t know where he is.”
Fern rolled his eyes. “Your John is a creature of habit. You know exactly where he’ll be.”
There was a commotion at the door, and then Mrs. Graziella from downstairs bustled in, carrying a delicious-smelling lasagna and looking put out. “Good Lord. Sorry I’m late, girls. Dante wouldn’t let me leave until he’d shown me a car video on the YouTubes.” She sighed as she put her casserole dish on the kitchen counter. “But I’m here! So let’s figure out a plan to help… Teagan!” she exclaimed, noticing me for the first time.
“You’re late, Mrs. G.,” Monica said. “We’ve already gotten through the mischief, and Teagan’s drunk most of the margaritas, and now we’re at the point where Teagan is ready to confess his undying love to John. Tonight.”
“Wait.” I paused, and the room swayed, so I steadied myself with a hand on Fern’s head. “I am?”
