Page 38 of Hand Picked
I snorted. “Right. Lemme grab my copy. I put it up here.” I stood on the mattress to reach the upper storage area.
“Where up there?”
I knew Webb was looking over my shoulder because I felt the heat of him against my naked back.
“Not sure. I may have chucked it up here in frustration before going out to deal with the tarp.”
Webb chuckled, and a shiver moved down my spine.
This is a no-erection zone, Williams. Jesus, especially while I was wearing these pants.
“Got it!” I seized the scroll and jumped back down. “Okay, let’s see.” I threw on a sweatshirt, then moved a pace or three closer to the heater so I could no longer smell Webb’s pine-and-cotton scent. “Here we go: ‘At a general affembly… I mean,assembly, held at the Town Seat of Pippin Hollow on the tenth day of May, Anno Domini, One Thousand Seven Hundred, and Sixty Seven, be it here Enacted that Partners who may be disposed to Matrimony, where Sufficient Permission cannot—”
Webb sat down at the table again and let out a fake yawn. “I’m aging here, Luke. Skip to the confirmation tasks.”
“Uh… Right. Part the First.” I glanced at him over the scroll. “The bugle blowing. Too late to avoid that.”
“Right.”
“Part the Fecond… I meansecond—”
“D’you need reading glasses?”
“No! Shush. It’s just written with thoseS’s that look likeF’s, and all kinds of weird capital letters. As I was saying… The Betrotheds must knowingly partake of Sweet Water drawn from the Pippin Well.” I glanced up. “Water from Pippin Well? Is that a place? Or do they mean, like, ye olde municipal water supply? ’Cause if drinking tap water is enough, I’m halfway handfasted to this entire town.”
Webb snickered. “You can be the one to tell Mayor York that we’ve become a handfastingorgy. The rules say knowingly, though. I bet it means you have to drink from the same glass I used or something.”
“Ah, well, then that’s easy enough to avoid.” I arched an eyebrow. “You’ve probably got cooties anyway.”
“Loaded with them,” Webb agreed. He stroked a hand over his beard. “What else?”
“Part the Third, Betrotheds must Prepare a Matrimonial Domicile with their own Skillful Endeavors.”
“Got it. No house building.”
“More than enough houses between us already,” I agreed. I looked back down. “Uh… Okay, Part the Fourth. Betrotheds must Layeth By a Store of Cloth, Salt, Tools, or other Provisions required of a Plentiful Union.”
“Damn. Hey, Alexa,” Webb called to my imaginary computer, “cancel the gift subscription to Salt of the Month that I purchased earlier.”
Webb’s teasing grin was back in place, doing funny things to my stomach, and I couldn’t help grinning in response. “Agreed. You’re salty enough already.”
“Rude.” Webb stood up and stole the scroll from my hand, then pushed me to sit on the opposite side of the table from where he’d been.
“Hey!”
“Part the Fifth,” he read, leaning against my bright orange stove and making the thing look all kinds of sexy. “Betrotheds must Bestow Their Own Clothing or Footwear upon One Another.” He looked up. “I can’t foresee you borrowing anything of mine, and I cannot see me fitting into anything of yours.”
“Accurate.” I wondered how that worked back in the old days and had a brief mental image of some colonial guy wearing his future wife’s dress.
“Part the Sixth says Betrotheds must Commingle their Flocks of Livestock in Gracious Union, even as they will Join their Own Lives. Uh, how about no?”
“Nope. My sheep have better things to do.”
“Sure. Part the Seventh, Betrotheds must Swear an Oath or Declaration of Intention to the Parents, Guardians, or Other Persons of Authority in the Life of their Betrothed.” He pursed his lips. “If you were planning to confess your love for me to Uncle Drew, please refrain until after the eight weeks are up.”
“I’m more likely to confess my love for Drew’s blueberry pie. My turn…” I reached for the scroll, but he set a hand on my chest to hold me back and held it out of my reach… which wasn’t hard since he was half a foot taller than me.
“Nope. Part the Eighth,” he went on. “Betrotheds must Attend Church or Town Assembly Together… Hmm. That one might actually happen. Does the Spring Fling count as a Town Assembly? Because we’ll both be there.”
