Page 81 of Hand Picked
“And thank God for that, or you wouldn’t have Aiden,” Luke added with a smile.
I pulled his hand to my lips to press a kiss on it. “Absolutely. I have zero regrets about that. But… in hindsight, the marriage itself wasn’t fair to Amanda or me. I rushed us both into something out of fear instead of love.”
I thought about it for another minute before continuing. “Because I’d married her for stability, I noticed right away when she started being unreliable. I think that’s what makes me so angry. She’s unreliable. I can’t trust her to show up when she’s supposed to. She doesn’t stick around when things get tough, and raising a kid is tough.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized Luke was the opposite of unreliable. He was the opposite of flaky. When Luke promised to show up, he was always there. When faced with the nightmare of Ben Pond’s dilapidated farmhouse, Luke didn’t bolt back south. He stayed and persevered.
I opened my mouth to say something about it, but he spoke first. “She’s here now. She has a job, and Deb Reinhardt at the Hookers meeting said she’s doing great at it. Deb’s brother Joey is a real estate agent in Keltyville. Amanda has also been to a spelling bee practice even though she had to leave work early to make it on time. She brought the kids a batch of cookies decorated like bees. And she’s shown up for every visitation with Aiden.”
“She’s been late for every visitation,” I amended.
Luke nodded. “You know her better than I do, obviously. All I’m saying is… people change. Do I know whether she’s going to run again? Of course not. But it seems to me she’s trying. And if that’s true, it could be a good thing for Aiden. If nothing else, her trying to be here for him sends him the message that she cares about him.”
“I don’t appreciate you being so levelheaded and kind,” I muttered, pulling him in for another snuggle. “It’s annoying as fuck.”
“You’re not as grumpy as you pretend to be,” he said with a laugh.
“Don’t kid yourself. The only thing keeping me from full-on grizzly bear status is large quantities of coffee.”
“Then maybe we should slide the dresser over and go in search of some,” Luke suggested, crawling out of bed. “We’ll grab coffee and then come back up here for a lesson on soapy shower hand jobs.”
After we slipped on pajama pants from my dresser, we moved it away from the door and made our way downstairs.
It wasn’t until we were halfway to the coffee maker that I realized we weren’t alone.
“Hi, Dad! Hi, Mr. Williams! Did you…” Aiden’s face wrinkled adorably from his spot at the kitchen table. “Did you have a sleepover? Oh, wait! You did that thing Mayor York was talking about. Bed bundling! Part Nine of the handfast! Oh my gosh, you’re really getting married. This is the best thing ever!”
My face ignited.Shit.Technically, he wasn’t wrong. If I remembered correctly, Luke had even said, “Oh, God,” a number of times, and that was pretty close to a prayer.
Luke let out a helpless sound under his breath, and Amanda set down her coffee mug. Uncle Drew’s lips stayed closed, but his nostrils flared in laughter.
Amanda looked down at her coffee. “So, it’s true? You’re getting married?”
Her voice was curious, not judgmental, but still I panicked.
“No! Of course not. Not really. Don’t be ridiculous. This is just… it’s…” I glanced at Drew for help, but there was none to be found. I glanced at Emma, who’d just stumbled in, but she was obviously still half asleep. “It’s nothing. Right, Luke?”
I glanced at Luke.
And realized I’d fucked everything up. Again.
Only worse. Because this time I had so much more to lose.
ChapterSeventeen
LUKE
I was stuck in a 1950s sitcom. If 1950s sitcoms had been about a family of hippie gay lumberjacks, my mom, and Aunt Susan.
“This pie looks incredible, Laura,” Drew Sunday said as my mom set a slice in front of him on the Sundays’ big kitchen table. “Thank you so much for bringing it.”
“Aw. No trouble at all! Least I could do after you and Marco so generously invited us to dinner,” my mom said in her soft, musical voice. “I hope y’all like it. It’s one of Luke’s favorites.”
My eyes moved back and forth from one polite comment to the next. This was excruciating. If Marco and Drew hadn’t extended the invitation directly to my mom, I would have insisted on declining. The last thing I wanted was to force my family upon Webb.
To forcemyselfon him.
When he’d told Amanda things between us were “nothing,” it had been a cold bucket of water to the face. Anecessarycold bucket of water. I absolutely did not want to get in the way of Aiden’s stability, the Sunday family unit, or… or… Webb’s existing mountain of responsibilities.
