Page 53 of Cherry Picked
“But then you left for three days. Threetinydays, Hawk. And I missed you so freaking much. I couldn’t enjoy anything. I couldn’t concentrate for shit—you should see what I did to the supply order yesterday, Jesus Christ. I couldn’t stop feeling like every good part of me had quit when you did. So I came up here to get you back.” I chewed on my lip. “The whole way up here, I… I pretty muchknewhow this was going to go. I knew if I saw you, spoke to you, I wasn’t going to be able to hold back. But even then, I fought it. I saw your spare sleeping bag, and I…” I broke off with a head shake.
“Turned into a hurtful, cockblocky asshole?”
“I didn’t turn into it,” I muttered. “I’vebeenthat. Jealous as fuck, even as I pushed you away. And then…”
“Yeah?” Hawk encouraged.
“And then you climbed into the tent. And I was stuck out therelistening. And I realized… that’s what the rest of my life would be like if I didn’t pull my head out of my ass. Me, on the outside, looking in. Barriers between us forever.Missing youforever. And I realized I have to at leasttryto be the man you need me to be—”
Hawk reached out and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it before setting both of our hands down in his lap. “You already are, Jack. You always have been. You could never disappoint me.”
I pulled my hand away and forked it through my own hair. “See? That’s what I mean, though. Of course I can, Hawk! And I will. I’m bound to let you down. To disappoint you in a major way. I’m not the guy you think I am—”
“And I think I see you more clearly than you see yourself,” Hawk retorted. “Give me one example of how you’ll let me down.”
“Well, I…” My brain’s gears clicked around heavily while I determined whether or not to reveal all the reasons why he shouldn’t want me. I was like a used car salesman who couldn’t help but admit the thing was a lemon. “I don’t know, do I? If I knew how I’d let you down, I’d stop it.” I exhaled sharply. “But for one thing, I’m a workaholic.”
“You’re committed to your business—a business where I work.” He winced. “Worked, anyway. You being a conscientious employer doesn’t bother me; it never has.”
I huffed. “Okay, then, what about this… I still think the development should go forwardin some capacity.”
He winced. “That’s… a tough one,” he admitted. “But I think I just need to know you’re listening to me without dismissing me. We are always going to disagree on things. I donotthink you’re perfect or that you’re always right. Spoiler, Jack Wyatt: that ship set sail about seven years ago when you told me you weren’t into reading romance.”
I laughed out loud. “I’m surprised you gave me any kind of chance at all after that.”
Hawk bit my knuckle lightly before smoothing over it with his tongue. “Even the things about you that might be frustrating or disappointingusuallyhave a good reason behind them…” He gave me a teasing look. “With the glaring exception of your unilateral decision that we, as legal, consenting, unattached adults who wanted one another, couldn’t have sex. And honestly, that was part of why I was so damn frustrated about that. Your reasons didn’t make any sense, and you wouldn’t explain them. But you know what else?”
I shook my head, trying to ignore what his mouth was doing to my skin so I could focus on his words.
“I’m not a child, and I’m not a shrinking violet—not with you, anyway. If I think you’re being a jerk, I’m gonna tell you so. If I think you’re wrong, I’m going to do what I think is right. Last night, after… well,everything… I decided that I couldn’t take this back-and-forth between us anymore. I was going to tell you this morning that I wanted you to leave. That I needed to put serious distance between us. And I would have done it, too,” he said softly. “Even though I knew it was gonna hurt.”
“Fuck,” I breathed, realizing how close I’d come to losing my chance entirely.
“But then, there you were, apologizing and admitting you were wrong.” He squeezed my fingers tightly. “Because you’re agood man, Jack.”
My heart looked for a way to escape his kindness. It couldn’t take these feelings. “I’m not, though. Not completely. I—”
“If I was injured, would you drop everything to come help me?” Hawk demanded.
“What? Of course I would,” I snapped, not even wanting to think about such a thing. “And can we not talk about you getting hurt, please?”
He grinned. “Uh-huh. And what about if the people of Little Pippin Hollow experienced a natural disaster and yours was the only kitchen left operable in town? Would you increase prices to take advantage of the opportunity?”
My lips tightened. “You know I wouldn’t, Bird. I’d feed everyone for free, even if it tanked my business. But I’m not talking about big stuff like that. I’m talking about little everyday disappointments. What if I forget to bring you flowers on Valentine’s Day?”
He straightened up on his knees and shuffled forward. His grin was giving me dirty thoughts about his mouth. “I’d buy enough for both of us.” He cupped my face and met my eyes. “I don’t need flowers. I needyou.”
I tried not to stare at his lips. “I never do the dishes at home,” I added pathetically. “For days at a time.”
“I know.” He leaned in and kissed me whisper-softly on the side of my face. “You’re a monster.”
“I leave wet towels on the floor of my bathroom.”
“Mmhmm,” he murmured, kissing my chin just as softly. “I’ll have to institute a spanking regimen for naughty boys.”
My dick roared to life. “What if I’m terrible in bed?” I breathed against his searching lips.
He let out a gasp of warm air against my mouth and pulled away. “Whoa, wait! You mean Smug Peter lied, and all this time I believed it? Dear god. You’re right, Jack. This will never work. I’m sorry—”
