Page 8 of Cherry Picked
I shook my head. Where had these ideas come from all of a sudden?
Stupid heatstroke.
Stupid pinecones.
Stupidpropositions.
Stupid nosy Pilkners.
Stupid, stupidsex.
“You’re saying having sex with me would beunnecessarily complicated,” Hawk said in a whisper that seemed to hang in the heated air.
“Exactly. Yes.”
My pulse was so loud it took me a second to realize that the light in Hawk’s eyes had gone out and he’d curled around himself protectively, his trekking pole dangling from the strap on one wrist. “I see,” he said softly. “Wow. This is embarrassing.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. “No. It’s okay. It’s… look, I’m honored that you came to me. I care about you, and Iwantyou to talk to me about things. But I—” I broke off, feeling like I’d dug myself into a hole. Anything else I said would only sound like an insincere platitude or, worse, encourage him to pursue this terrible idea.
“But you’re rejecting me anyway,” he finished for me.
“Notrejecting! The opposite. Hawk, you’re too important—”
I wasn’t sure what expression appeared on my face at that point, but whatever it was made him flash a big, fake smile that turned my stomach.
“I get it, okay? You don’t need to— It’sfine.”
“Is it?” The cold chill down my spine was the opposite of fine.
“Sure. I’m disappointed, obviously. And I think your reasoning is… not great. But really, my disappointment is my own fault.” He bit his lip and shook his head. “You know, I’ve been with guys in the past, and I’ve come close to devirgination lots of times, but I’ve always held back, like it was this big, significant act that I needed to plan out and find just the right person for.” He shrugged. “But, like, if the person you think is the right person saysno, then they’re not the right person… right?”
I shook my head, panicked. “I… what?”
“Maybe there’s no such thing as the right person. Maybe I should just get it over with and do it with… well, anyone. That’s why god invented hookup apps. I mean, like you said earlier, what’s the big deal about virginity anyway?”
“Huh? No, when I said that thing about virginity earlier, I was talking about Regency England. I was talking about the heroines in your books. I wasn’t talking aboutyou—”
Hawk gave my forearm a cursory pat. “I think you were right earlier. It reallyiswarm out here, and we have the town meeting tonight. I’m gonna head back. I’ll see you later.”
“But… Hawk?” I shouted as he picked his way back down the trail, an odd stiffness in his posture that was either due to his injuries from the pinecones or his injuries from… me. “Since when do you quit a hike before we reach the summit? And… wait, since when have you been with lots of guys before?”
He didn’t respond or acknowledge me in any way. My heart pulled itself up out of my gut and flung itself down the trail after him like a stupid fucking traitor while I stood there in a strange kind of numb shock.
I’d screwed up, that much was obvious, but I had no idea what I should have done differently, and I had no clue how to fix it.
All I knew was that I’d better figure it out quickly before I lost something that had become even more precious than I’d let myself realize.
ChapterTwo
HAWK
“A girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then.” ~ Mr. Bennet
I was going to have to go into hiding. That’s all there was to it.
“What the heck’s wrong with you, Hawkie?” Emma asked, elbowing me down the row of chairs in the assembly room of Little Pippin Hollow’s town hall. “You’ve been acting funny the whole way here.”
I propositioned Panini Jack, and all I have to show for it is pinecone rash on my ass.
