Page 59 of The Pretenders of Copper County
In a few weeks, when things with Dante were settled and I was off on my next assignment, when Chris and I weren’t spending every waking moment just a few feet apart, when I didn’t need to be close to him all night to make sure he wasn’t feverish or thirsty or being hunted by his uncle’s former associates, things would be different. Normal. The pull of him would fade until it died off entirely.
“Died.Pfft. As if.” Chris waved a hand. “I’m fine. Super, entirely fine. Totally recovered… assuming I was ever actually sick in the first place, which I still don’t think I was. I was, at most, ever so slightly under the weather. But that was three whole days ago?—”
I made a noncommittal noise.
“—and Watt saw me just yesterday when he and Oliver stopped by with more DVDs?—”
“Because the man doesn’t understand whatcontagiousmeans,” I muttered.
“And I’m sure he’s told everyone how, you know, fine and cured I am.” Chris waved his hand again.
Chris had been fluttering quite a bit, come to think of it, ever since he’d given me my teasing “good morning, husband” kiss this morning and talking at increasing speed ever since we’d pulled out of the campground.Hmm.
“So tell me again why you don’t want to come to the hardware store and see your fan club,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “The whole time you were recovering, you were all, ‘I wonder if Hen’s leg has been acting up since it’s been rainy.’ And ‘Hen said he’d take me to the diner where his wife works because they have amazing pancakes.’”
“O-of course I want to see them!” he argued. He toyed with the edge of his glasses. “Any other time, the hardware store is the first place I’d go. But I promised Ms. Dorian I’d swing by the library to get a library card, and that was nearly a week ago, so…”
“So all the library cards might be gone if you don’t go today.” I nodded. “That makes sense.”
“N-no.” His face reddened. “Today is the last day of the library carddrivethat she’s running. She’s giving out free laminated card sleeves. I appreciate good lamination.”
“Uh-huh.” I ran my tongue over the inside of my teeth. He was lying. Almost definitely. But about what?
“A-and I want to support her,” Chris went on. “For some reason, people don’t like Ms. Dorian very much. I think it might be because they just don’t know her. I think she needs a friend.”
And of course, he thought that friend should be him.
I sighed. “You know they’re going to want to check your ID before they give you a library card. You can’t?—”
“Give her my license with my real name and address on it?” he snapped. “Yes, Reed. I know. I didn’t even bring my wallet, so if she asks, I can tell her honestly that I left it at home.” He softened his tone. “It’s not about the card. It’s about trying to do something nice for someone.”
I stretched my neck to one side and then the other. I was being ridiculous, and my bad attitude was probably responsible for Chris’s nerves. “I’m sorry,” I said finally. “It’s hard for me to let you out of my sight. It feels like whenever I’m not with you, something dangerous happens.”
Chris’s big eyes went shiny with sympathy. “Oh, gosh, I should have known.”
“Known what?” I scowled. “There’s nothing to know. I’m supposed to protect you. That doesn’t mean?—”
“We watched season two, episode two last night, and it freaked you out when John Ruffian got trapped in the antique doll workshop,” he said knowingly. “Nothing to be ashamed about. That one freaks me out, too.”
“Uh, no. No way. I didn’t freak out. I’m notfreaked-out. I had a moment of concern because the workshop was on fire, and he had that dog with him, and I wasn’t sure the dog made it out safely.” I slowed as we approached the center of town, past quaint shops adorned with pumpkins and plants I now recognized as sedums. “And because those dolls had those fuckingeyes.”
“Yuuup.”
“And because the show has zerorelation to reality! None. It’s a show about a man who goes around pretending to be a new person practically every episode, for goodness’ sake. That’s not sustainable.”
“Right.”
“And the villainsmonologueto their captives. No villain monologues in real life!Jesus. It’d be like saying, ‘Hey, I’m gonna be over here mentally jerking off, so now would be a great time for you to escape.’”
“Mmhmm.”
“Also? No professional in the universe would think, ‘Oh, the building is on fire, let me construct a bomb out of doll-making equipment so I can blow the door open, and never mind that all the creepy doll hands and creepydoll feet will become creepy dollshrapnelthat could fuckingdecapitatesomeone.’”
“Uh-huh.”
I shot Chris a glare. “And I really don’t understand why he needed to take his shirt off and oil his chest before he did the bomb making.”
Chris pulled his lips in, trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile. “Yes, I remember you said the same thing last night?—”
