Page 8 of The Pretenders of Copper County
From the corner of my eye, I saw his hands flapping again, fast as hummingbird wings.
“And Nonna always said to carry cash in your shoe for emergencies, but that seems really uncomfortable and potentially unhygienic, especially if you were to, say, spill soda all over yourself because you were temporarily but unavoidably distracted?—”
“Chris,” I began calmly. “Take a deep breath and stay calm.”
His voice rose in speed and pitch like he was stuck in fast-forward. “And she also used to say,” he went on, “you can’t fight gravity, sweetheart. Which I guess is true in a way, but, um, the existence of the aviation industry would suggest that sometimes youcancooperate with it for a little while, so?—”
“Chris,” I said in the firm voice that had calmed dozens of protectees over the years. “Chill.”
“I’m chill! I’m on an adventure with Reed Sunday, and we’re going to Massachusetts!I’ve never been chiller in mylife!” Chris pressed a hand to his stomach. “Is it possible to be allergic to wild oats, do you know?”
“Easy now. Remember what I told you before?” I asked in the same soothing tone my dad always used to calm his livestock. “I’ve got this. I’m taking care of you. You’re gonna be fine.”
“I remember you saying that, Reed. I do. But I also remembered that I didn’t actually tell Van I was leaving, and he might worry if I don’t come back, and you’re driving like we’re in a high-speed chase, and I can’t help but notice that you’re talking to me the way Webb talks to Stella at milking time.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, I felt my lips twitch up in a smile before I restrained it. The way his panic was edging into annoyance, making him look like an angry, near-sighted kitten, was not adorable, damn it.
Once we passed the lumber truck, I pulled back into the right lane, and the suspicious car sped past harmlessly.
“See that?” I pointed toward the taillights of the New Jersey car. “Not a high-speed chase at all. They’re gone.”
“They?” His eyes widened. “Who’sthey?”
“The car I thought was tailing us. False alarm.”
“You thought…” Chris exhaled a breath that sounded more like a whistle. “Reed, I’m sure you’ve realized I’m new to this sort of thing, and I admit that I should have asked more questions before getting in the car, but I didn’t expect tonight to involve you performing an impromptu audition for some Green Mountains revival ofThe Fast and the Furious.”
“Breathe,” I suggested again.
His nose curled up like a grumpy bunny’s. “Iambreathing. I’m definitely breathing. And I know that becauseif I weren’t breathing, I’d be unconscious, and if I were unconscious, I wouldn’t be so d-dang nervous.”
“We’ll be there soon,” I lied. By my estimation, it was at least an hour to the coordinates Margot had sent. “I know this might seem scary, but you’re doing great. And you might be a newbie, but I’m not.”
He sank down in his seat and pushed up his glasses. “Yeah, it’s obvious that you’re, um…” He swallowed. “Way more experienced than I am at this sort of thing.”
I couldn’t lie, his words made me puff up a little bit. “Yup. I’ve taken care of dozens of men and women like you over the years.” I did some quick mental math. “Maybe even ten dozen. You’re in good hands.”
“You…” He gave me a look of mingled intrigue and horror. “You’ve done this with over a hundred people?” He shot me a look I couldn’t read. “And you’re, what, forty?”
I scowled. “Thirty-five.” I’d started young, and I’d had a very successful career… until recently. “I’m good at what I do.”
He squirmed a little. “Kind of a, um, strange thing for you to brag about, especially since you’re, like, with me, but okay.”
“I’m not bragging, I’m reassuring you.” I frowned. “I’m trying to say, none of those people knew what they were doing either, and not a single one was killed or even injured while they were with me. They all—well, almost all—shook my hand andthankedme when we said goodbye, okay?”
He stared at me, mouth open and lip curled. “Killed?” His eyes flared wide. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Everyone you’ve done this with was anewbie?” he whispered. “Allhundred twentyof them?”
“Well… yeah.” I shrugged. I didn’t understand where his surprise was coming from. Most people went their whole lives without going into protective custody, let alone more than once. But maybe things were different when you were born into a crime family. “I’d argue that if I do my job right, nobody has to go through this more than once.”
“Go through it?” He wrinkled his nose further, and his glasses slid down. “Not trying to be critical here, Reed, but you are really not selling this experience.”
The man’s confusion was strangely appealing, just like his fidgeting and his cologne and his glasses and his stammering… and not only werenoneof those things I had ever found attractive before, but the last thing I needed was to be distracted by a protectee—aFromadgioprotectee—less than twenty-four hours after being reinstated to the job I’d nearly lost a couple of months ago.
What the hell was wrong with me today?
Eyes firmly on the road, I took another deep breath and said, “It’s perfectly normal to be nervous, Chris. But if you do what I say, everything will be fine. The problem here is that you weren’t briefed on the procedure.” When he looked confused, I added, “You don’t know what to expect.”
“That obvious, huh?” He groaned and put his hands over his face. When he spoke again, his words were muffled. “You’re not wrong, though. And I’m sure books and movies have given me some unrealistic ideas about, um, how it all works?—”
