Page 58 of Night Fae
Malik swallowed, trying not to let that thought run away with him. "You can taste me anytime," he found himself saying like the absolute fool he was.
Zev stared at him.
Malik wished he would do more than stare. His heart was beating so fast he thought he might be in danger of passing out if he wasn't already dreaming.
Would he even remember any of this when he woke up?
"Are you an idiot?" Zev asked. "You should be afraid of me."
"I'm not."
Something flashed in Zev's eyes—frustration, confusion, guilt. Maybe all three.
Malik pushed himself to be brave. With another step, he closed the remaining distance between himself and Zev, resting his hand on Zev's cheek. Their gazes locked. Malik's breath caught.
What was he doing?
He'd just wanted to erase that look of guilt from Zev's face.
And now he couldn't backtrack.
"I don't blame you for what happened," he made himself say the words that were on his mind.
"You should."
"No," Malik insisted.
"You don't?—"
"Listen," Malik cut Zev off. "After the accident, I was the one who lived when everyone I loved died. Every day I asked why me? What purpose could possibly justify me surviving when they didn't?"
"What does that have to do with what I did to you?"
"Everything. When I offered you my nightmares, when I let you feed…it was the first time since the accident that my painserved a purpose." Something lightened in Malik's chest. "Do you understand? My worst memories helped save us both."
Zev raised a hand, fingers closing around Malik's wrist. The contact sent warmth spiraling down Malik's arm even as Zev spoke. "Don't let your pain push you to self-destruction."
Malik grinned. "Look who's talking."
"Your family wouldn't want this for you."
"And what I want doesn't matter?"
Zev lowered Malik's hand. "How could you possibly want me?"
'Me.' How could you possibly want me? Not 'this.' Was Zev even aware of what he'd just asked, how he'd changed the topic?
Malik's mouth went dry. "It's so easy to want you." Zev was handsome with his beautiful eyes and his fae features and that rare smile that completely undid Malik whenever it was focused on him, but even beyond the physical, he was honest and loyal to his friends and always trying to do the right thing, even when he struggled to know what the right thing was.
There was nothing fake or inauthentic about Zev.
Malik wanted to be honest too."I know you don't want me," he said. "After everything you've been through recently… After the way you lost the love of your life… I would never hope for anything from you. But if you need anything from me… If there's anything I can do for you, I'm happy to be useful."
There, the words were all out. Everything Malik felt, laid bare.
Zev went still, his expression unreadable as Malik's words hung in the dream-violet air between them.
"Useful," Zev repeated. His eyes darkened. "Is that what you think I want? For you to be useful?"
