Page 53 of Blame It on the Bikini
"I'm not sure she knows how to not say something," he said dryly.
"What did you tell her?"
"That all I could remember was a fun walk on the beach and some great chili fries."
"Is that all you can remember?"
He shot her a look. "No. I remember the rest of it, Lexie. It all has a bit of a hazy glow, but I know what we did, and I know how I felt."
"You were a much more cheerful version of yourself."
"Apparently, I get happy when I get high."
She laughed. "Was that the first time for you?"
"It was," he admitted. "I've never done any drugs. Too busy studying or working. Plus, I like to be in control."
"That makes sense. I'm sorry I inadvertently took that control away from you."
"Stop. We're not doing this for the next two hours. You already apologized. So did your aunt. It was an honest mistake. And when you knew I was in trouble, you came to find me and you stayed with me."
"That wasn't hard. You were pretty funny, especially when you were talking to the seagull."
A smile lifted his lips as he stopped at a light and their gazes met once more. "While I do remember what we did, I don't remember everything I said. Hopefully, it wasn't too embarrassing."
"It wasn't. You just used a lot of superlatives. It was fun to see you unguarded, open, not thinking about what you said before you said it."
"Is that how you see me?" he asked curiously. "As someone guarded, closed off, deliberate in what I say?"
"Yes," she said honestly. "You don't see yourself that way?"
He didn't answer immediately, then said, "I don't like to think of myself that way, but I can't say you're wrong. I grew up with parents who weren't that interested in what I had to say. When I was a kid, I loved to read, and I liked to tell my parents about my books, but my mother would be bored within sixty seconds, and my father would cut me off and say he wanted to hear all about it but maybe another time. Eventually, I realized there wasn't really any point to trying to share my books with them."
"That's kind of sad, but I can also relate. I learned early on that I'd get more attention if I liked the things my parents liked. With my mom, it was clothes, makeup, jewelry, and workouts. With my dad, it was the law. When I gave that up, he and I had nothing to talk about, and while my mom still keeps in touch, she also doesn't really care about photography or Ocean Shores or my aunt Josie. Since I'm not around to shop with her, our conversations are very short. Plus, she feels like she has to take my dad's side. And he thinks I'm throwing my life away, so she doesn't want to support that."
"You're not throwing anything away. You're following your passion."
"I thought I was doing that, but I wasn't fully committed to taking the real leap into the unknown. Instead, I filled my days with jobs to make money. I've always been practical. I was raised to understand that work is about money, so it didn't feel right to not do anything to make money. To that end, I filled up my day with jobs I told myself were side gigs, but they took over all my time. Strangely enough, you were the first person to actually call that out. I'm sure my friends probably wondered what I was doing, but no one came right out and asked me."
"Is that your way of saying thank you?" he asked with a note of humor in his voice.
"I suppose. Anyway, I feel like I'm getting onto the right track. I was talking to Josie about it the other day. She's always been the one person in my family I can speak to without guarding my words, and she's incredibly supportive. Of course, she also walked away from a very lucrative career, so she can understand why I did the same."
"Why did she walk away?" he asked curiously. "She won an Oscar. That seems pretty incredible."
"She's never really told me the whole story. She just said she felt used and betrayed by people in her circle: her husband, her agent, and her friends. I think there might have been infidelity and a love triangle, but those were just rumors I read when I looked online to see what had been written about her. At any rate, she told me there came a point when she felt like her entire life was make-believe, and she wanted to live in a world that was real, where people didn't lie or pretend. So, she left Hollywood. I guess she traveled around for a few months before she made it to Oceanside. She rented an apartment at Ocean Shores, and she's been there ever since. Thirty-five years. It's a long time, Grayson."
"I'm aware," he said shortly.
"I don't want to talk about the possible sale," she added. "I just want to say one thing, and then we'll change the subject. Ocean Shores gave my aunt a family and friends. Even people who have come and gone over the years stay in touch with her. They send her photos of their kids, of their children's wedding, of their first grandbaby. The community isn't a static thing. It changes as people need more space and move on, but while they're there, it's everything. And even after they leave, they keep in touch." She took a quick breath, wanting to get it all out before she had to shut up. "When I first moved in after I left my law job, I was really spinning, not sure I'd made the right decision. Most of my friends were still lawyers and still in LA, so I didn't really have anyone to talk to, but I found even better friends in the building. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about it for now."
"For now," he echoed.
"Well, I can't promise forever."
"I know. And, Lexie…" He glanced over at her. "I heard you."
"Okay. Good. So, you said you used to love to talk about books. What are you reading right now?"
