Page 110 of A World Without You
Colin’s expression goes hollow and I watch him slowly inhale and exhale a breath. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Tell me now,” I demand. “Please.”
“Olivia...”
“Colin.”
I stare at him, eyes pleading. I have to know. What happened? Why don’t we talk anymore? Where is he? Is he okay? That’s all I need to know.
“Short answer or the full story?” he asks, finally.
“I want the full story,” I answer, knowing I’ll settle for breadcrumbs.
He swallows. Hard. Like the words he has to say are made of sticky, sweet sap that he’s choking on.
“The Christmas you were stuck in Roslyn. When I came to get you to bring you home for Christmas, your parents called Bennett’s family to have an impromptu Christmas dinner. It was canceled when they thought you were stuck there, but when they opened the pass late that Christmas Eve, I left and went to get you as soon as we closed on the deal we were working on. Your mom begged us to go straight to their house and have a traditional Christmas Eve dinner with the Hollands...like old times.”
Color drains from my face as a million scenarios play in my mind.
“Anyway, um...” he hesitates and I almost grab his shoulders and shake him. Then he says, “Let me tell you later. Please.”
He’s begging me, and I swear to God if it’s because he wants to get laid one last time before I leave, I’m going to drop-kick him out the thirtieth-story window.
Before I know it or even respond, the apartment door swings open.
The apartment is dark. Too dark. So I say, “You should get a dog when I leave—”
As if on cue, the lights flick on, and the crowded room screams, “SURPRISE!”
My jaw drops as my mind registers the amount of people in the room. Petra and a few people from the office, friends from my past/present, Colin’s parents, Cody, my parents, my brother-in-law, and my sister, Melanie, waltzing toward me with a cake. I can’t help the emotion arising in my eyes as fresh tears.
“You didn’t tell me,” I say.
“Why would I?” she asks, and I shake my head, moving farther into the apartment and setting my purse on the counter. She plops the cake next to it, grabs a lighter from her back pocket, and lights it until the candles turn to sparklers. I stare at the white buttercream with red and green lettering that says, “Fine. Go.”
I laugh out loud. “I love you!” I say, my voice filled with laughter and tears I disguise in her embrace.
“Stop. You’re getting emotional and all these people are here on Christmas Eve—”
“It’s Christmas Eve?” I thought it was the day before and now I’m confused how I bounced so far forward. Yesterday was the 22ndin my real life.
Melanie pulls back and makes a face at me, confused and concerned. “Yes. They came to tell you goodbye. You better be the most pleasant and holy version of yourself,” she murmurs into my hair, pulling me tight.
I toss my head back in laughter. “I love you.”
She touches my cheek lightly. “I love you too, sister. And I’m so proud of you.”
My cheeks ache from the smile on my face as I go from my sister to my parents to my brother-in-law to Petra—to whom I say, “You should be with your family.”
“I was,” she says. “But I’m so thankful I got to work for you and I’m so proud to know you and you’re going to absolutely rock this worldwide campaign.”
I smile at her fondly and pull her in for a hug. When I pull away, I drift from face to face. Familiar ones. My parents. My brother-in-law. Some faces I should know but don’t. Everyone in this room is proud of me, and they love me enough to say, I am going to spend the holidays with you to say goodbye.
My mind spins at the idea of this. I inadvertently look for Bennett, even if I don’t really expect him to be here. In this world, I don’t talk to Bennett anymore. He’s a long-lost childhood friend who throws me out of bars and tells me to brush my teeth. I don’t have his number and haven’t asked him what his favorite Christmas movie is. He hasn’t made me rice for breakfast. I haven’t used Zamboni as a verb or cleaned up Josie’s Jesus bones vomit.
He’s somewhere else, even though my heart wants him here.
As I get tossed around from person to person, a glass is handed to me, and it’s filled and refilled with champagne, I’m laughing and enjoying every part of this night, counting every blessing with each embrace as I wade through the room. Once I’ve made my rounds, my eyes flit to the kitchen, where the Hollands are standing next to my parents.
