Page 35 of A World Without You
I bite my lip at the loaded question. “Good, I think.”
He unleashes his smile. “I knew you’d wreck them.”
“Did you?” I ask, blinking away the prideful tears in my eyes.
My breath hitches as he moves closer to me. His breath skirts across my cheek and he whispers in my ear, “I know everything about you, Olivia.”
“I love you,” I say into his neck as he curls his arms around me, crushing me against the countertop. Pulling me into his body like he hasn’t seen me for years and not hours. A part of me wonders if he’s in the same dream. A parallel universe bringing me back to him at Christmas like a wish we begged for during the last five years.
The way he kisses me, begging me with his mouth to love him forever would indicate that’s the case. Colin and I are both stuck in a world where we get to love each other because, in reality, we never get to.
“I want you forever, Colin,” I breathe against his lips.
He draws back, sadness cloaking his expression. “But we only have a few weeks left.”
EIGHT
Monday, December 4th
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WHAT THE HELL DOESthat mean?
Dreams always end right when it gets interesting. As soon as I woke up, I squeezed my eyes shut praying for just fifteen more minutes of slumber—fifteen more minutes of Colin.
It never came, so now I’m moping.
Full-blown, self-deprecating, woe-is-me moping.
I’m sad and angry and utterly disappointed in my life. I’m trying to figure out which way is up, but I’m trapped in the weeds of my own choices and my failure to make it right.
Plus, I’m pretty sure I bombed the interview at Bennett’s office last Friday. I was frazzled and nervous but probably came off as incompetent and out-of-touch. Entirely my doing. Or rather, my continuedundoing. I celebrated my failure by going to a walk-in clinic to get a blood test for celiac. If these dreams are going to put wild thoughts in my head, I might as well spend $300 I don’t have to see if it’s true.
Santa came early, folks. It turns out I do have celiac disease. Even the nurse on the line said, based on my antibody markers on the test, it’s a miracle I don’t have more symptoms.
This was not the Christmas miracle I was hoping for.
