Page 42 of A World Without You
“Oh, changing the subject?” he questions.
“Yes, I’ve been wearing my regret and divorce on my sleeve for too long. Let’s talk about yours!” I feign excitement, and he shakes his head. “Did you cheat on her? Is that why she disappeared? Speak, Bennett.”
He winces. I hit a nerve—or the nail on the head.
“No,” he says.
“Then where is she? Did she cheat onyou? Did you murder her?”
He shakes his head, smiling in a way I hope turns into a laugh. But knowing him, it probably won’t.
I lean closer, my fingers woven around the base of my wine glass. “She’s buried in your backyard, isn’t she? Or! Locked in your attic. You still feed her and bring her books, but you will never let her see the light of day ever again.”
“You seriously read too many books,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Or maybe I just have a wild imagination, which scares you,” I play coy.
It was supposed to be an entirely platonic joke, but there’s a slight flush crawling up Bennett’s neck, and I worry I just crossed the line of acceptable flirtation. When he opens his eyes to look at me, there’s a slight pain there. An indescribable one. It’s as if the very question,What happened to her?reminds him that he doesn’t know how to answer it.
“Seriously,” I say gently. “What happened to her?”
“She left me and Josie two years ago. Never came back.”
The words are simple, but each one cuts deep.
“Why?”
He shrugs. “She didn’t really want to be a mom. She became one because she felt like that was what she was supposed to do. Get married, buy a house, and make babies. Rinse and repeat.”
“The world is so wrong for that.”
“I mean, it’s not a terrible life. You just have to really want it for it to be beautiful,” he says, and I envy the peace in his tone.
“Where’d she go?”
“No idea.” He shrugs. “She got hooked on painkillers and who knows what else now.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Does she ever see Josie?”
His lips twitch like he’s growing uncomfortable. “Uh, no. She sent birthday and Christmas presents the first year, but...not this year.”
“So she just left one day and never came back?” My jaw is slack as I lean even closer to Bennett. I want to know how he’s not as traumatized as I feel he should be.
“Yep.” He’s completely unenthused and takes a sip of bourbon.
“Why aren’t you devastated?”
“You can be devastated and still move on,” he stares straight at me when he says this. I feel his words in my bones—in my soul. “Look, Krista had issues. A lot of them. We tried doctors. We tried counseling. We tried rehab. But there came a point as Josie’s father where I had to realize I love Josie more than I loved my wife. I’d love it if she got help and cleaned up her act, and decided she wants to be an active participant in the best girl’s life, but she doesn’t. And I’m not going to beg someone who doesn’t deserve Josie to love her.”
His words settle heavily over the table. I can’t imagine having everything I ever wanted—a loving husband and a beautiful child—and just...leaving.
“I’m so sorry, Bennett. You don’t deserve that.”
Bennett reaches across the table and tilts my chin up with one strong yet gentle finger. “Chin up, kid.”
I smile and wipe the tears off my face. “Ah, sorry.”
“What’s wrong?”
