Page 85 of A World Without You
He shrugs. “I remember a lot of things about that week,” he says, his gaze falling away from me and back to the mountains. “I also remember that your hair smells like vanilla, and your lips taste like Pop Tarts.”
I laugh even as my eyes fill with tears. Some things in this world and that are the same.
I woke late the morning after I met Graham, missing the continental breakfast at the lodge, so I walked down the block to the corner store to find my breakfast options. It was raw bacon or Strawberry Pop Tarts. My hungover stomach roiled, and I tore open the box and shoved one in my mouth before I even paid for it. I sniff, remembering that morning. “Breakfast of Champions.”
“You were so embarrassed. But, you know, Miss Eidelman doesn’t let anyone stand under her mistletoe and not kiss.”
I swallow. It was friendly, short, sweet, and highly inappropriate, but for that silly, small town, it just felt...right. Plus, Graham had returned my wasted self to the hotel the night before and helped me find my pajamas in my suitcase. I don’t think he changed me, but I do remember him telling me to close the bathroom door.
God, I was plastered. He could have ruined my life that night. Instead, I ruined it myself days later.
“I certainly made an impression,” I remark, and he nods.
“You did.” He turns back to me and unleashes his biggest smile. I like this version of Graham. We don’t hate each other here. Here, it feels like friendship. “If Colin hadn’t shown up on Christmas Eve, I’m convinced I would have fallen in love with you.”
My chin snaps back. “What?”
“I said, I’m convinced I would have fallen in love with you. Sorry, I know that’s inappropriate—”
“No, before that.”
He tilts his head. “If Colin hadn’t shown up—”
“He showed up?” I can’t even hide my shock and I don’t even care if it makes me seem crazy. At this point in my journey into delu-lu-land, Iamcrazy.
“Yeah...you don’t remember? You were on the verge of tears, and he just walked into the town party like a knight in shining armor, and it was then I understood.” He pauses, remembering it all. “He was always going to love you because you’re someone worth holding onto. I bet he’s giving you a life I never could have.”
Don’t panic, or you’ll cry.
Don’t cry, or you’ll panic.
The former overrides the latter, and I let out a panicked breath, saying, “I have to go.”
I click my skis into place and race down the mountain, tears flying off my cheeks until I find Colin holding two hot chocolates.
“What took you so long?” he asks, flashing me his million-dollar smile, oblivious to what I just realized.
“I need to go home,” I say.
“Why? We have one more night? Are you okay?” He sets the paper cups filled with hot chocolate on the table next to us on the patio.
“No,” I confess. “I just...want to go home.”
I’m trembling as he takes me in his arms. My mind is spinning faster than I can keep up with. Nothing makes sense. Nothing feels right.
After we pack our bags and drive down the mountain, the snow surrounding us slowly melts away until we’re on dry pavement. The clouds roll in and cover the blue sky into a deep gray, glowing in the moonlight, and for a moment, I wish I could see the stars. The green evergreen trees lining the freeway stand at attention, watching us mile after mile until we reach the city. Just as we get off at our exit and turn down Pine Street, the sky opens up, and snowflakes start to fall from the sky, quickly dusting the sidewalks in snow.
Colin curls his fingers in mine, glances at the clock on the dashboard and says, “5:55 p.m. Make a wish.”
