Page 107 of A World Without You
“What? Don’t look so surprised,” he says with the smallest smile touching his lips.
I finally manage to swallow and ask, “Are you being serious? You think I’m attractive? Because up until this point, I kind of just assumed we were two lonely divorcees who have known each other forever and have miniscule crushes on each other.”
He reaches out and brushes a wet strand of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear, keeping his green eyes on mine. “I would let you ruin my life,” he whispers, and a small smile stretches across the features of his face.
My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I try to contain my own smile and say, “Well, I have a track record of breaking hearts, so be careful what you wish for.”
He breathes out through his nose but otherwise doesn’t respond, putting onGremlins.I can’t explain why, but tears fill my eyes, and emotion burns in my chest.
As the opening credits play, Bennett looks over at me. “Liv, are you okay?”
I ignore the quiet tears pouring down my face as I turn to him. “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
A rare laugh tumbles out of his chest as he reaches for me, cupping a hand over my cheek and wiping my tears. I hold onto his arm, letting the tears fall.
“You know what I meant,” he says and I nod.
Of course I know what he was insinuating and yet, I can’t find the words to tell him how much I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t even know if my heart is ready to realize what I’ve been searching for all this time was right in front of me, never leaving, never faltering. The calm steady I’ve known since I knew how to breathe.
“You haven’t missed a single thing since I’ve been back. You’ve been my lifeline, Bennett. You’ve...” I exhale. “You’ve been everything I didn’t know I needed. I don’t know what I’d be doing without you. I came home for the holidays, barely divorced and wondering if I just ruined my entire life. But you make me feel like my life is just getting started.”
He interlaces his fingers in mine and places our hands on my chest. “I’m not the one reminding you, Liv,” he says, his emerald eyes sparkling in the TV light. “That’s your heart reminding you, beat by beat, that you have a life to live. And it’s a damn good life, I guarantee it.”
I grip his hand. “I love you, Bennett.”
He studies me for a moment, and I know exactly how it sounds, so I clarify. “Like, in the way best friends love each other. You have my back. And I want you to know I have yours. One day, I will repay you for every favor.”
I wait a moment, letting my words settle over us. His eyes dance over my face as he licks his lips and contemplates his next answer.
“I think I might be starting to love you in another way too,” he confesses, his palm on my cheek and his fingertips in my hair. “I ache for you, Liv. It was sudden and hit me in the most unexpected way, but I would do anything for you because Iwantto do everything for you. This month you’ve become the one I dream about, and maybe one day, you’ll dream of me.”
Blame it on the cranberry cocktails garnished with pine needles, or the tinsel or the mistletoe, or the best Christmas movie playing in the background, but I reach for him and pull him to me by the nape of his neck, letting his lips crash against mine. His lips part, and I glide my tongue along his—one taste is all it takes for me to climb on top of him, hungry for his touch and desperate for the taste of him. There’s a give and take of desire, an ache and relief of tension. He gives, and I take. I take, and he gives. Over and over until I roll my head back, and he lowers his lips to my neck, and I dig my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. The ache travels from the tip of my tongue until I swallow it down to my core. Kissing Bennett is like feeling everything I’ve ever felt all at once.
Heat.
Pain.
Longing.
Regret.
Forgiveness.
Love.
It wasn’t supposed to be him.
But it is. It so clearly is him for me and me for him.
I tug at the waistband of my shorts, pulling them off without breaking my lips from his. He lets loose a desperate moan in my mouth as he slides his hands up my t-shirt while I pull at his hair. I can’t get close enough.
“You’re so warm,” he murmurs into the soft hollow of my collarbone. He grips my waist with one hand and curls his fingers around the swell of my thigh with the other. I grind against him, needing more friction, more pressure, more Bennett.
“You are...” I begin, but he slides two fingers over the thin fabric of my panties, pressing in perfect small circles, and I let out a quick moan of satisfaction.
He pulls back, breathless, and his eyes search mine for a moment—I can’t tell if he’s hesitating or in disbelief. He plays with the delicate lace and each breath that escapes my lips feels heavy and desperate, as if I might fall apart if he doesn’t touch me. Then he asks, “Can I?”
“Bennett, you can do whatever you want,” I whisper, granting him permission to do whatever he wants to do to me. “I want this. I want...you.”
