Page 113 of A World Without You
I draw back, dragging my hands down his bare chest and staring at every ripple and etch on his chiseled skin with sore and longing eyes.
“I just...need you,” I say, all my emotions getting the best of me.
He runs his hands down my shoulders until they reach my hands. “Are you sure?”
“Was last night bad?” I wince.
“No!” he says, taking my face in his hands. “Last night was incredible. It’s just that we were drinking and having fun, and I want to make sure you want this. Because I don’t just do that with anyone no matter how many Christmas tree cocktails I drink.” A breath of a laugh escapes my lips before he continues. “I have feelings for you, Liv. They came out of nowhere, and yet, they make perfect sense. But if it doesn’t make sense to you, I don’t want to do it again.”
My heart is sore as I think of how much I regret something I did in another life. He lost his wife and his child, and I was responsible for the worst pain he could possibly feel.
“I know why you hate me,” I confess, even if it’s only partial knowledge.
He smiles softly, encasing his hands around my face. “It’s just a dream.”
I shake my head.
“I only care about how I feel for you now. And right now, I’ve come to love every part of you. I love the way your voice sounds in the morning, and I love the creases next to your eyes when you laugh—like, really laugh. And I love the feel of your heart beating next to mine. But we need to think this through. I want to walk into this with my eyes wide open and with every intention of you being the one for me. Or I want to shut it down completely.”
Bennett is reasonable. We shouldn’t be impulsive—I know exactly where that has landed me year after year. But it’s difficult to think about consequences, titles, or what comes next. I just want to feel him, and I want him to make me feel good. I want him to make my nerves explode and my heart be at peace.
But I understand. What I want can’t happen with him without the commitment—without the promise.
“I see...” I whisper.
“I want to think this through,” he adds, and I nod. “We have known each other forever. Our parents are best friends. I have a daughter.”
Each fact doesn’t seem to be reason enough for me to run, only reason enough for me to want him more. The love I have for Bennett has been there since I can remember, and it has continued to slowly build moment by moment over the last month like water behind a dam until neither of us could hold it back anymore. Now, the water is rushing and pulling us downstream, and neither of us is going to fight the current.
TWENTY-SIX
DREAM 10
Sunday, Christmas Eve
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