Page 120 of A World Without You
I think of all my fertility issues with my ex and what it did to my heart and answer, “Nowthatwould be a Christmas miracle.”
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THE MEAL IS FESTIVEand full of joy.
Melanie’s boys and Josie sing Happy Birthday to Jesus and blow out a million candles before we eat cake and then gather our coats for Christmas Eve service.
Just as we enter the church, Melanie grabs my arm and, in a hushed whisper, asks, “Did you hook up with Bennett?”
“Not at church, Mel,” I respond, though my smile gives me away.
She cocks an eyebrow. “I’m guessing he didn’t give you a silent night.”
“Ohmygod,” I whisper-shriek. “You can’t say those kinds of things in the Lord’s house!”
Melanie shrugs. “I love this idea.”
My gaze travels down the aisle to where Bennett is sliding into the pew with Josie and his parents.
“Oh,” Melanie says knowingly. “You got it bad.”
I bite my lip through a smile and look at my sister. “So freaking bad.”
She squeezes my arm, pulling me close. “Don’t forget to take your time. Love doesn’t rush. It pulses. Sometimes it beats quickly and other times slow, but you’ll find the rhythm eventually.”
I smile at her poetic take on love as the ushers pass out unlit candles to us. We slide into the aisle, and just as I’m about to take my seat, Melanie grabs my arm and pulls me closer, “But, I swear to God, if you break his heart, I’m cutting you out of the will.”
I laugh, loud enough for the family in front of us to take notice.
“Seriously,” she hisses. “Bennett is a gem, and he’s been through too much to deal with the games you play.”
“I don’t play games,” I whisper back.
“You break hearts,” she bites back.
“I don’t settle,” I defend myself.
“Shhh!” Mom says from down the line, and I feel like a little girl again. Then I catch eyes with Bennett—he’s restraining a smile and helping Josie light her candle with the person’s candle next to them—and I feel like a woman who is loved for exactly who she is, no matter what Christmas brings.
