Page 18 of A World Without You
FOUR
DREAM 2
Thursday, November 23
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IOPEN MY EYES, ANDColin’s hands are in my hair, his lips lingering on my jaw.
“We have to get ready to go to my parents’ house,” he whispers, the thick raspiness of sleep latched onto the edges of his voice.
I cock an eyebrow as my heart leaps in fear. “Your parents?”
They hate me. I stomped on this man’s heart on Christmas Eve. I’ll never forget the voicemails his mother, Miranda, left. The sobs on the other end of the line. The expression on his father’s face when I face-timed them for the first time since breaking their son’s heart. A mixture of disappointment, anger, and sadness like I’d never seen. But in this dream, that didn’t happen.
Colin regains my attention with a kiss on my abdomen. “Yes, it’s their year for Thanksgiving. Remember? We flip flop.” His tone would indicate he is speaking to a toddler, and I remember I have got to get my shit together in these dreams, so I smile.
“Are you messing with me?” he asks, mimicking my smile and running his thumbs over my stomach.
“Yes,” I lie, and he bites me gently on the flesh of my hip bone.
“Well, let’s get going. Mom said dinner is at two this year because Cody is coming with his new girlfriend, but they’re leaving early to go see her family too.”
I catch myself before I say anything stupid, letting all the years I missed play in my mind. Five years ago, Cody and Colin weren’t speaking.
But a lot can happen in five years. “That will be nice to see Cody,” I say, feeling him out.
He half-shrugs and almost rolls his eyes.
Maybe bygones aren’t bygones quite yet.
“Come on, Colin. It’s been six years. You have to let that go,” I say. Clearly, this is more about tolerating his brother than forgiving him entirely.
“I did let it go,” he answers, voice clipped in the echo of the room as he walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower. “We do holidays together now. That’s a start.”
“He was a dumb college kid,” I say, following him into the bathroom and leaning against the counter. I remember the night Colin completely lost it on him. Cody got hammered at a work function for Colin, stole someone’s valet ticket off a table, and went for a joyride down Union in a Maserati.
Colin yelled at me for laughing. He was presenting an image that night and whenever he’s putting on a show, any signs of tenderness evaporate from his usual kind and laidback demeanor.
“You know it wasn’t just that, Olivia,” he says over the sound of the shower.
“He can’t help it,” I try to reason.
I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I know that in my real life, Cody is the one who didn’t excommunicate me entirely. He didn’t tell me I was a terrible person for not wanting to marry his brother and move to a small town. He was sad and told me he always wanted me as a sister, but he understood.
“I’m not making excuses for him, Olivia,” Colin continues. The way the water muffles his voice tells me he’s scrubbing his perfect face with the shampoo he uses on his thick locks. The man has the best hair and a better hair care routine than I’ve ever known, but he refuses to wash his face with real facewash.
“Has there been anything else?”
