Page 20 of A World Without You
“Look what the cat dragged in!” he says, teasingly.
“What are you? A forty-year-old dad from the suburbs?” I ask, teasing back and he laughs.
He steps back, examining me. Cody and Colin—despite their names sounding like they could be twins—look nothing alike. While Colin has dark hair and steely blue eyes, Cody is blonde with dark brown eyes. And even though their stature mirrors the other, their personalities put them on separate ends of the earth.
“Colin,” Cody says, his smile stiffening as he pulls back his shoulders.
“Cody,” Colin says with an equally tight smile.
I meet Colin’s eyes and flash him a warning-be-nice glare. Cody is Team Olivia in the other universe. I’ll have his back in this one.
“Wine!” Miranda says, bringing over two glasses and a bright smile. “Here. Have some wine.”
We each take a glass, cheers, and sip. I ask if Miranda needs help getting anything ready and she asks me to pull the sides warming in the oven and put them on the table. She has Cody open a couple more bottles of wine and place them on the table, while Colin helps his dad carve the turkey.
Thanksgiving at the Hamlins is always a little quiet. Just their family, at least since Grandma Judy passed on seven years ago. But even without the chaos of extended family and friends, it feels entirely fulfilling.
We eat mountains of food, each dish clearly marked by what is gluten-free and what is not. After we clear the plates, Miranda lets Christmas music hum through the home sound system. We dance to Mariah Carey as we load the dishwasher and the men play a round of Spades before bringing out the dessert.
By the time we’re all seated at the table again, a warm familial echo fills the room. Then my eyes glance outside the windows framing the dark view of the lake. Tiny white snowflakes start falling through the black sky, each one bigger than the next.
“It’s snowing!” I remark and everyone tilts their gaze to the window.
Jubilant smiles dance across everyone’s faces. In Western Washington we get snow, but not consistently, and rarely as early as Thanksgiving.
“It’s so beautiful,” I say and Colin curls a hand over my knee, squeezing lightly. The magic of the holidays are always enhanced by a dusting of white snow.
“Did you know it was supposed to snow?” Miranda asks.
“The forecast didn’t say it would,” Lloyd answers.
Cody turns to the table, a smile still on his face, and raises his glass. “Well...Merry Christmas, everyone!”
We all murmur a laugh, and Colin completes the clichéd Hallmark moment by saying, “And God bless us, everyone.”
My eyes dance around the table, taking in the faces of the family I walked away from. I smile at each of them at the table, then set my sights on Colin. He smiles at me, the ice in his eyes melting as his gaze meets mine.
I love you,I mouth.
I love you even more,he mouths back.
I press the glass of wine to my lips and take a sip, drinking in this feeling and cursing the version of me that stopped loving him while also realizing I probably never did. I swallow too much wine as the thought crosses my mind, and it burns the back of my throat until it settles in my belly. Then, as I set the wine glass down next to my plate overflowing with pumpkin pie and ice cream, I notice my left ring finger isn’t wearing an engagement ring.
