Page 113 of Goodbye Again
“Because Dr. Hansen is the best doctor for her type of cancer. JP works here. They both love Chicago. It just made sense!” I toss my hands up and they fall, slapping my bare thighs. I’m naked arguing about the time I’ve spent helping someone in need.
“It’s just a lot, Julia.” He sighs.
“I know,” I say.
It’s not enough though.
“It’s been a month.” The weight of the timeline brands my heart. Audrey’s barely hanging on.
“How many months until she...” his voice trails as if he realizes how utterly inappropriate the question is.
“Years,” I seethe.
“Julia...”
“I can hope, okay?” I snap. “You don’t get to be a dick about it.”
He throws up his hands and leaves the bathroom while I slam the shower door hard enough to crack the glass. Tears burn down my cheeks and I scrub them away with so much contempt, I’m certain the skin on my face will be raw. I’m only going over there a couple of hours every week. One day. Once a week. It’s not enough time to disrupt the happy, humble abode. Donavan is being privileged and selfish. His whiny arrogance is showing and his need to fixate me under a controlling thumb makes my blood simmer.
By the time I’m finished showering, my skin is blotchy and my anger is bubbling to the surface. The steam on the mirror may as well be the steam coming out of my ears.
I throw on an old t-shirt and climb into bed, quick to snap off my light and turn away from Donavan.
At first, I think he’s going to shut off his light and do the same but it remains on and he shifts. I press my eyes closed, poorly pretending to be asleep. If my behavior was ever presented onmy couch in my office, I would tell myself I have every right to be angry, but throwing a fit instead of communicating my feelings is immature at best and unforgivable at worst.
I sense Donavan next to me, and when his hands touch my shoulders, I open my eyes to see him kneeling in front of me, softness in his rich eyes and a calmness covering his face.
“I’m sorry for being insensitive,” he says.
Good.
“I’m just having trouble understanding why you care so much,” he adds.
My therapist brain clicks on, and all signs of my hissy fit evaporate. I slide up into a sitting position and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and he holds onto my hips gently.
“Maybe you should just meet them,” I offer, and he squints in response. I can tell he’s unsure. “If Audrey is up for it, and JP would probably love to meet you—well, see you again. At least in a circumstance where he isn’t caught off guard and driving us around in a rideshare.”
This warrants a smile out of both of us.
Donavan nods then leans over to kiss me, pulling back just barely. “I’ll take next Monday off.”
AUDREY AGREED TO THEvisit despite her steady decline. I worried Donavan would get weird or say something insensitive in her presence, but so far, he is still the gentleman. We brought Audrey THC lollipops and good lip balm. Audrey insisted on barbequing for us.
She answers the door with her head wrapped in a gorgeous silk scarf and long cable knit sweater despite the warmth of June dancing in the air.
“Welcome,” she smiles and for a moment, I see the Audrey I met at my sister’s, reminding me she’s still there. Still fighting.
“You look beautiful,” I say, hugging her.
“Thanks. I’ve actually felt pretty okay this week. And okay these days is fantastic.” She lets out a rough laugh and turns to Donavan. “Hi, I’m Audrey.”
“Lovely to meet you,” he says, taking her hand in his. He offers her the small gift bag and adds, “A little something for you.”
“You didn’t have to!” she says, immediately digging into the tissue paper. She pulls out a red THC lollipop, unwraps it, and pops it in her mouth. “I might actually be able to eat something if I have one of these. Thank you.”
“Of course. We brought one of each flavor—I didn’t know what you’d like.” A soft hue of crimson spreads on his cheeks and I’m reminded of how endearing he is. Despite his success, money, and tendency to know it all, he really is a teddy bear.
Audrey smiles coyly at me. “I like him.”
