Page 110 of Goodbye Again
Dumb question, but it almost seems necessary to ask.
“Like I have a headache that’s going to kill me,” she deadpans, and my breath catches in my throat. I can’t tell if she’s being coy or feeling angry. Truthfully, it’s probably some combination of both. “It’s okay, you can laugh.”
I don’t laugh. I just smile as I swallow. “I brought... an unnecessary amount of food,” I say, gesturing awkwardly to the counter. She smiles and nods.
“Thank you,” she says, then turns to JP. “Can I smell your taco?”
I rear back, confused. JP meets my gaze and clarifies. “She can’t stomach it but—”
“I miss it. At least I can still smell it without gagging... for now,” she finishes for him.
“Makes sense,” I add, then remember, “Oh! And I brought you some of my favorite books,” I say, digging through my second canvas tote. “Not my mother’s, don’t worry.”
This makes her laugh, and I breathe out some relief as she eases onto the couch.
“Sorry, I know you like her, but... these books are different,” I say, placing them on the coffee table. I hate putting my mother down because her writing is phenomenal. Her storylines are just lacking the oomph and pizazz they possessed when she started writing because she loved it, not because it made her famous.
“It’s great, actually. I love your mom but I was hoping for something that felt less like sorrow and despair while I fight for my life.”
I swallow so hard I choke on my tongue for a half-second. When JP laughs, I relax my shoulders. I let out a breath and slap my hands on my thighs. “Well, I’ll get going. I don’t want to keepyou—” I begin. She doesn’t look like she’s in the mood for guests. But again, I don’t know her that well.
“No, stay,” Audrey says, sinking into the corner of their grey sectional. “I’d like the company.”
I nod, my eyes flitting to JP. His gaze is on Audrey, making its way to me but I turn before we make eye contact.
“I mean, I love him, but he needs a break.”
“I don’t need—” he begins, but she cuts him off.
“Just go. It’s fine.” She smiles, but I gather it’s forced.
JP drops the rest of his taco in his mouth and wads up the paper. He’s chewing harder than the soft shell would deem necessary, and he tightens his fist around the paper before he shoots it in the garbage like he’s angry. The movements are slight. I glance at Audrey, and I don’t think she’s even noticed as she tugs the yarn blanket over her lap. When I look back at JP, all signs of irritation have vanished, and he’s filling a glass of ice water and putting a small pot on the stove. He drops something gelatinous in the pot, and the grimace on my face must give me away because Audrey says, “It’s bone broth.”
“Ahh,” I say, nodding.
“Come sit,” she demands, and I do.
“Bone broth is about the only thing I can keep down and even that is a struggle,” she admits.
“So, no, Taco Bell?” I ask sarcastically.
“Not in this version of my life,” she says and lets out a laugh. “I miss it though. I didn’t think I would but man, I do. Every time you eat a taco will you think of me?”
“Of course.”
Within a few minutes, JP delivers the bone broth in a mug and slips out the front door to go for a walk or go to the store. Maybe both. He doesn’t specify.
“Thank you for being here,” she says, with a soft, tired smile.
“I’m glad I came.” I smile at her, realizing how much I do enjoy talking to her and how terrible it is that wonderful people like her have to face battles like this. “I was a little worried about coming. I thought you might think it was odd.”
Audrey smiles at me. “No, it’s nice to know someone still cares and isn’t afraid of what I’m going through.”
I hear what she’s saying but also feel terrified for her. I keep my mouth shut.
“You know what they don’t tell you about having cancer is how people will abandon you.”
I raise my eyebrows, shocked silent by her statement.
