Page 31 of Goodbye Again
“We started high school in Rhode Island together, then after I moved, we dated off and on throughout high school until I moved to Chicago and then dated long distance for the rest of high school and in college. She never wanted to move to Chicago,and I never wanted to move back. We could never compromise, but we couldn’t stop loving each other.” He shrugs. “Second chance or not, I’m glad we didn’t give up on each other. I loved her.”
There’s pain in his last sentence and I don’t ask him to elaborate. It’s not my business, for one, and two, I can see the love in his eyes and hear the pain in his voice.
“That makes sense,” I agree. “What was her name?”
“Audrey.”
I nod, absorbing the name and how he says it. The history, the memories, and the idea ofheretched into each syllable.She will have many loves; you will have just one...
That’s probably his Audrey—his one love—the woman Emily referenced. But how devastating that it’s over and he’s not even thirty years old.
“I’m glad you loved her more than once.” I smile encouragingly, and he dips his chin slightly.
“But you would never love someone more than once?” he asks.
“My life is too short for that.” I contemplate a moment, still staring at the inky sky before I elaborate. “Did you know that if you took all of the world’s existence and condensed it into one year, humans wouldn’t have even shown up until eleven p.m. on New Year’s Eve?”
He squints. “I don’t know, Julia, the math isn’t mathing.”
I laugh. “Just trust me. The science definitely sciences.”
This warrants a laugh out of him. It’s breathy and long, his chest rising and falling in the moonlight. I squeeze his arm and tilt my head against his shoulder. We’ve known each other for two days, and I almost wonder if this is the closest thing I’ll ever feel to falling recklessly in love. As his laugh settles, I look up to meet his gaze. He’s studying me with a smirk on his face.The kind of smile that tells me he is intrigued as much as he is bemused. “Do you believe in God?” he asks.
“I do.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Even with all this science talk.”
“Especially with all this science talk.” He waits for me to continue so I do. “Listen, God doesn’t get enough credit. There is rhyme and reason for every single piece of our solar system. Then think of evolution, ecosystems, weather patterns, and the human body itself—all of it is intricately designed to function and thrive, and we think it just is. That there isn’t some celestial being in charge of creating it? No way. People often call God the Great Physician, but man, I’m positive God is also a wickedly brilliant scientist.” I peel my eyes away from the stars and turn to look at JP, his gaze on me like he’s known me for years. “What about you? Do you believe in God?”
He nods. “I like the idea that someone bigger than all of this cares about something as small and insignificant as one human on earth.”
I turn over, propping myself on my elbow, letting my fingers trace the navy threads on his cotton shirt. “You’re not insignificant.”
A smile spreads over his face, and I take him in. His deep green and gold eyes and black lashes. The dip of his dimples and the line of his jaw. I count the four freckles on his cheekbone and one on his bottom lip.
“I like how you look at life,” he whispers.
I nod. “I don’t want life to happen to me. I want to happen to life.” I breathe out, flicking a blade of grass between my fingers.
“I could fall for you,” he says.
My chest explodes, and I bite down on my lip hard. I want to play it cool. I want it to seem like I’m not falling head first, but I don’t know how to slow down. I don’t know how to reel in my emotions.
He belongs to one woman and it’s not you.Emily’s voice echoes in my mind, but I ignore it.
I bend down and press my lips against his. His arm tightens around my waist, and the warmth between our bodies melds together the longer we kiss. I pull back slowly, brushing my nose against his. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
My phone buzzes, indicating my driver will be here soon.
I smile over my shoulder at JP, and he catches my face in his hands before I turn away.
He kisses me again and everything inside me twists and pulls and heats, like a winding spool of passion and I’m ready for him to unravel me.
“I have to go,” I whisper against his lips.
His gaze falls to my mouth, then back to my eyes, my face still in his hands. “When can I see you again?”
I give him a coy shrug. “Do you even want to see me?”
