Page 62 of Goodbye Again
“Thank you for coming to take care of me, though,” I say finally. “Sorry, I can’t reward you with sexual favors.”
“I really wish you didn’t tease me with such tempting lingerie,” he jokes, referencing my worn sweatpants. I kick himlightly, and we both laugh. Then, he grabs the remote and asks, “Which movie first?”
After a movie marathon with me dosing in and out of sleep, I wind up with my head on his lap and he gently rubs my hair, soothing my slumber. He stays the night and makes me breakfast in the morning. When he goes to leave, he hugs me tight and says, “I’ll take whatever I can get.”
I hold him tighter, wishing I didn’t have to let him go, knowing it’s the best choice right now.
third chance
NOVEMBER
3 MONTHS LATER
fifteen
“TO YOU AND YOUR BRILLIANCEand your brand new practice!” Lena says, holding up her latte in the frigid fall air as we scurry down the road. “And graduating with your PhD!”
“Yes! Congrats, Dr. Waters!” Claire adds.
We clink our paper coffee cups together and pull my friends back to earth, “One, it hasn’t opened yet and two, I walk in December.”
“Yes, but you’ve already defended your dissertation and aced your final exams, making you the smartest friend in the group!” Claire squeals.
I laugh, but it comes out a bit tired. The last several years of my life have been swallowed by work and school. Not to mention the last six months of almost falling in love twice... with the same person. The intensity of the school work load abruptly ending makes me want to prepare for the opening of the practice with quiet noises and padded rooms.
I stare out at Lake Michigan before answering as we walk by. It’s been colder than normal this year, even for Chicago, so I’m halfway predicting a cold front to hit in the next few days. Lena, Claire, and I all scatter for Thanksgiving. Lena an hour north. Claire flies to Florida. And me to Seattle.
This year, I’m actually excited for the holiday. I can’t wait to see Emily and her baby, Alyson, and I’m actually excited to see my mother. She’s implied my change of career is a complete failure and yet, here I am, ready to start my own practice with apartner in just six months or so. Even if it’s just an idea and an agreement, we’re so close.
“Mom hasn’t even sent me a congratulations text,” I say, sipping my coffee to shut up my confession.
My mother has hurt me inadvertently in so many ways and yet I still want to make her proud.
“Oh, Julia...” Claire begins, just as Lena says, “I knew it.”
I frown. “Knew what? That my mom’s a bitch?”
Lena shakes her head. “No, I knew you were upset about something. You get this weird obsession with ranch dressing when you’re sad.”
“I do not!” I scoff, but keep walking.
“You do,” Lena and Claire reply in unison.
“Remember when you and Steven broke up, you bought the two-pack of ranch dressing from Costco and actually finished the bottles by the end of the month. You were putting ranch on everything... wings, cucumbers, pizza—”
“Taquitos,” Lena murmurs with a wince to let me know she is embarrassed for me.
“Hey, that’s actually really good,” I defend myself as Claire clears her throat and Lena presses her lips together. They’ve made their point and are letting me know there will be no arguing, but I still want to plead my case and think of the salad I ate today when I met them for lunch. “And ranch is always good on a cobb salad.”
“And apparently you also believe it’s a good idea to douse your feelings in ranch.” Lena shoves my shoulder, and I stumble on the sidewalk.
I laugh, but it comes out like a groan. “You’re right. I’ve been feeling like I could eat my weight in ranch.”
“Is it just your mom bothering you?” Claire asks, pulling her hair away from her face in a swoop so the wind doesn’t blow it into her lush pink lip gloss.
I contemplate the question while I study the couple in puffer jackets and matching beanies walking toward us. “Yeah.”
“And what else?” Lena asks. She’s always had this no-nonsense way about her.
