Page 11 of Play Dirty
Shrinking.
It’s like when you get a plant and you care for it. But no matter what you do, it still withers.
That's June right now.
And maybe I should press harder, figure out what’s wrong. Call her out on her lie. But the truth is, I’m hiding too. So I just eat the lie she fed me and try not to choke on it.
Chapter Five
Shiloh
Junior
Age Twenty
I look at the window, my hand resting over Asher's, trying not to think about everything that happened back in Italy. Summer break is over, and hopefully so is my little test that determines my loyalty to him. As if I haven’t proven myself enough for the couple of years. “Hey, you okay?” He asks, gently squeezing my thigh.
“Yeah, just jet lagged,” I reply with a small smile to sell the dream. Staring at the vacant green eyes that stare back. I feel nothing… Maybe slight disgust. All there is between us is obligation. A contract of a future I want no part of. There was a time I would have given anything to marry him. Thinking of him as my savior.
But that was a lie.
Who would have known all it would take was for me to remove the rose colored glasses and see the true him for what he is. For all my feelings to just go away. To truly see and accept the shallowness and depravity. To accept that I mean nothing. I’m just a pawn— a way to merge both of our parents' wealth and produce his heirs.
I watch as he runs his hand through his long waves, “Italy was fun, don't you think?”
Fun.
That word.
Grabbing his wandering hand, I interlock our fingers, not wanting him to trail any further. My body is sore, and I don’t think I can handle more touching than what I already had this summer. Especially after I was used as cum-rag for him and his friends, leaving scars no one can see. But I can— I keep fucking score of each of them. Thankfully, Asher and I go to separate universities, which means I’m free until he needs to use my body. Or the school year is over. Hopefully the latter.
Deep down, I pray I can convince Daddy to just set me free from my arrangement with Asher— if he only knew the things he forces me to do when no one is looking. Excitement bubbles beneath my skin as the campus comes into view.
Freedom at last…
He will spend his time in Costa Mar University, playing for the soccer team and continuing his studies in finance. While I continue with my ‘useless’ studies, as he likes to call them. Nothing like majoring in Psychology with a minor in Art, and being made to feel like it’s still not good enough. “Hey, so I was thinking maybe we should see other people?”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “You know I don’t like distance. Plus, we are gonna be married soon. As a young, successful man, I think it’s important that I explore.”
The words don’t surprise… nor shock me.
This is Asher Santorelli in all his fucking glory. To say I’m emotionally gone is the understatement of the year. He goes back to being the hotshot, Playboy Titan’s captain. And well, I'm back to my role as the Ice Queen.
I hate that name.
It implies I'm cold-hearted. Yet I'm not.
I just don’t find it in me to be considerate of those born into power. Those who look past my intelligence only to sexualize me andperceive me as nothing more than a hole to fill. Sort of like the asshole who’s driving me to my dorm.
“Is June already there?”
“Yes,” I chirp, excited to see my best friend before classes resume. At least with her, I don’t have to pretend — I can finally breathe again.
“It’s a bummer Tati didn’t make it back to school before the semester started,” I say as I step out of the closet big enough to store our coats and shoes.
“Yeah, Tati. What a shame.” June replies as she looks impulsively at her phone. It used to be us three, always June, Tati, and me. Then slowly it became just me. Tati is busy traveling and doing humanitarian work back in her parents' country after a major hurricane flooded some parts of the island.
