Page 22 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop
‘They were interviewing their final candidate after me so they said they should be in touch in the next couple of days.’
‘Okay. Let me know when you hear back. Don’t be discouraged if it’s a no, but I’ve got a feeling it won’t be.’
I’d reached my car so we ended the call and I set off back to Fountain Street. I’d surprised myself by how badly I wanted the job. It wasn’t because I loved the shop itself, the pleasure of being surrounded by books every day, the events held at Bay Books or their values, good as all of those things were. It was because of the flood of happy memories. Sitting in the children’s section just now, I’d felt so close to my sister and, while it had been emotional, it had brought me an incredible sense of peace.
And there was another reason I wanted to work there – Lily. I pictured how her eyes sparkled as she spoke about the shop, the way her curls framed her heart-shaped face. I could still feel the trace of her cold hand in mine, hear her lilting laughter. Even though I’d noticed changes in her, I’d still recognised the young girl I’d met after Mum and Pabbi declared Pia too ill to visit Bay Books anymore, the young girl who’d filled that void my sister’s absence created with her exuberant chatter about the books she’d read, the girl I’d desperately hoped would be helping her dad out every time I visited.
I kicked at a stone on the pavement, frustrated with myself that I’d pushed her away. It had never entered my head that she could be at Laurendale School. We’d always been so engrossed in our bookish conversations that we hadn’t spoken about where we lived or went to school so her presence that first day had completely thrown me. How often over the years had I wished I could take back everything I’d said and done? Although, at the time, I’m not sure I’d been capable of reacting differently.
Reaching my car, I sank into the driver’s seat, ashamed by my foolish younger self and cursing the present-day me for not apologising to Lily.
I couldn’t imagine she’d want to work with me. I felt as though the interview had gone well but was it enough to overcome the past? All I could do was hope because I knew that I’d miss her if I didn’t see her again, that I’d feel some kind of emptiness inside, that my life would be incomplete. Because that was how I’d felt since the day I told her I didn’t need any friends. The day I rejected her before she could abandon me like everyone else in my life had.
12
LILY
‘What did you think?’ Dad asked when I returned to the children’s section after letting Lars out.
‘Better than expected. I’ll admit that the grown-up Lars is a lot more palatable than the schoolboy one.’
‘But…?’
I sank down into the tub chair Lars had vacated. ‘But I’m still not sure.’
‘What’s holding you back? Is it just about how he was at school or was there something from the interview that concerned you?’
‘The interview was great. What he did with his business is seriously impressive and there’s no doubting his passion for books. He ticks all the boxes for what we want and a million more so it’s not him… or it’s not the present-day him.’
‘You can’t shake off how he was at school.’
‘I’m sorry, Dad. I want to, I really do. I know it’s me and my issue and that’s not fair when he’s such a strong candidate.’
‘Don’t feel guilty,’ Dad said, shaking his head. ‘If you don’t feel comfortable around him, then it’s a no.’
I did feel guilty, though, and felt the need to justify my thinking. ‘It’s just that a good team is so important here. The staff we have must be good with customers and I don’t doubt that Lars would be, but they have to fit into the team too and Lars would be starting off on the back foot. Most of the team started out as strangers with a clean slate and a positive impression but Lars doesn’t have that. I had to keep reminding myself to smile and be professional when all I wanted to do was tell him off for being a tosser at school.’
Dad laughed. ‘Tell me how you really feel about him.’
I took a glug from my bottle. ‘I’m not saying it’s a categoric no. You know I always need to reflect on big decisions overnight so I’ll do that with Lars but, at this precise moment in time, my gut is telling me that we’d be better off with Melissa Gilchrist.’
Melissa had applied early on so we’d interviewed her at the back end of last week. A woman in her mid-fifties, she’d recently been made redundant. She wasn’t a voracious reader like we’d have hoped, but she’d told us she enjoyed reading. She hadn’t demonstrated any sort of snobbery towards particular genres – something that was very important to us. What she’d lacked in book knowledge she made up for in retail experience and, as she’d never be on her own in the shop, there’d always be somebody around who could fill her knowledge gaps if customers needed advice.
‘Lars is my frontrunner by a clear mile,’ Dad said, ‘but Melissa would be my second choice. Mind you, our next candidate looks good on paper.’
I picked up my clipboard and scanned down the CV from a Philippa Rose who was currently a hotel receptionist, had retail experience before that, was a big reader and an aspiring writer.
And a no-show.
We waited for twenty minutes – more than enough time for her if she was running late – before calling it a day.
‘I guess it’s between Melissa and Lars then,’ Dad said, folding up the chairs while I gathered the bottles together.
‘Looks like it. I’ll give them both some serious thought tonight.’
‘You know I’ll support whatever you decide,’ Dad said. ‘It’s you who has to work with them, after all.’
‘I know, but we’re partners so your opinion counts just as much as mine.’
