Page 61 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop
‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,’ I said, keeping my arms around her waist.
‘I think we were both pretty clueless and too young to deal with some grown-up emotions and, of course, you had so much more going on.’
‘We could have been together all that time if I hadn’t been such an idiot. All that wasted time!’
‘I need to show you something.’ She took her phone out and scrolled through it, stopping on a photo. ‘When things ended with Wes, I was really upset, not just about it being over but about feeling like I’d wasted years on him and, even worse, that it was the second time it had happened. Mum spotted this in Yorkshire’s Best and thought it was perfect for me.’
Yorkshire’s Best was a shop at the other end of Castle Street selling the work of local artist Jed Ferguson and a range of locally made hand-crafted items. The photo showed a small wooden sign with flowers in the background and the handwritten words:
Little by little, day by day, what is meant for you will find a way.
‘Mum bought it to give me hope that I was exactly where I was meant to be and things would come right in the end.’
‘Þetta reddast,’ I said and smiled when Lily looked at me quizzically. ‘It’s a saying but also a philosophy for how Icelanders live. It means it’ll all work out in the end or it’ll fix itself.’ I returned her phone. ‘So you think this is what’s meant for us?’
‘I do. What about you?’
‘Definitely.’ And to prove it, I kissed her once more.
32
LILY
I was kissing Lars and, oh my word, it was incredible. First kisses could be a little awkward but it was as though Lars and I had been made to fit together. Perhaps it was because I’d been dreaming about it for so long. Our first kiss was electric, passionate, knee-weakening and this one was all those things still but somehow more tender and emotional. I never wanted it to end, but this wasn’t getting the tree decorated or the window display arranged and it was with reluctance that I pulled apart.
‘We need to…’
‘Finish the tree,’ Lars said, pressing his forehead against mine. ‘I know.’
‘But there’s nothing to say we can’t celebrate emptying each box.’
He kissed me softly and we walked hand in hand back through to the front and resumed our work with the character decorations.
‘What made you so eager to tell me everything?’ I asked.
‘Because I liked you more every day and I was hoping what just happened between us would happen. I wanted you to know everything before it did in case it put you off me. It would have felt wrong to kiss you then tell you.’
‘It hasn’t put me off you at all. It’s made me like you even more. As I said, I used to think there was something vulnerable about you and now I know why. I’m so sorry for everything your parents have put you through. Are you in touch with them at all now?’
‘I don’t really get on with Pabbi – long story for another time – but I’m close to his new wife. I saynewbut they got married when I was eighteen.’ He told me about his stepmum and half-siblings. ‘As for my mum, she travels the world doing street photography and barely finds the time to check in with Nanna or me.’
I stared at him, the cogs whirring in my mind. ‘Hang on a sec. Your mum’s Jay Jóhannsson! I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection. We stock her books.’
‘I noticed.’
‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
‘Because it would have led to questions about her which aren’t easily answered. We can talk about my mum another time too and I’m all ears if you want to talk about Justin. To answer your original question about my confession, I wanted to tell you from the start but I was okay with you wanting to draw that line in the sand. Then when you told me about Marcus being your stepdad and Justin always letting you down, I realised that you might have an amazing, caring family but your life hasn’t been without its challenges.’
‘And the Justin ones continue,’ I said, rolling my eyes at Lars. ‘He messaged me yesterday, had a go at me for not being in touch for months, and sent a shouty capitals message when I didn’t reply quickly enough for him.’
‘Wow! How old is he?’
‘Exactly. We’re talking proper moody teenager strop so I told him what I thought about that and, to be fair to him, he apologised in his next message. He wanted to see me tonight but I told him I had plans and it’d have to be tomorrow so that’s something to look forward to.’
‘What does he want?’
‘No idea. He’s never the one who initiates contact so this is uncharted territory.’ I sighed. ‘I will take you up on that offer to talk about him and I’d love to hear about your parents but how about we talk about something nice tonight instead?’
