Page 62 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop
‘You’re on! Do you have a favourite restaurant in the area?’
I pondered for a moment. ‘Salt & Pepper Lodge, Le Bistro, The White Horse in Little Sandby spring to mind. Why?’
‘Because I’d like to take you out for tea this week at one of your favourite restaurants.’
My heart leapt. ‘I’d love that. It doesn’t have to be one of those if you’ve got a favourite. My only no-no is those really posh places that serve tiny portions. I like to know my tummy isn’t going to be rumbling an hour after I’ve dined.’
‘Completely understand that. I haven’t been to The White Horse in ages so I’ll see if I can get us a table there. If you’re seeing Justin tomorrow night, how about Tuesday?’
‘It’s a date,’ I said, sealing it with a kiss.At last!
With our school days no longer a taboo subject, Lars and I reminisced about our time there, discussing school trips and favourite/least favourite teachers as we continued to hang the decorations.
‘Obviously you stayed best friends with Cassie,’ Lars said, ‘but are you still friends with anyone else from school?’
‘Do you remember Donna Rowe? She wasn’t in our form but I knew her from Brownies and Guides.’
‘Is she the one who shaved her head for charity?’
‘That’s her! Anyway, she’s Donna Nelson now, married to a lovely guy called Joey and they’ve just announced they’re expecting their first baby. Other than Cassie and Donna, my friendship group’s mainly the other traders on Castle Street. They’re all so lovely.’
‘Everyone I’ve met seems really friendly.’
‘They’re the best.’ I opened up the box of stationery-themed decorations. ‘Occasionally I get customers who I recognise from school and college. Some are really friendly and chat, some sayhelloand leave it there and others act like strangers. It’s possible they don’t recognise me but I think some do it deliberately. What about you? I’m guessing you’re not in touch with anyone from school.’
‘I was the weird kid who randomly spoke in Icelandic,’ he said, laughing. ‘Not exactly a friendship magnet. And, of course, I pushed away the only person I really wanted to be friends with.’
‘But she valued your friendship when she had it.’ I drew him into a tender kiss. ‘And she values it now, especially now she knows the truth. I saw you too, Lars. I always knew there was something hurting you and I hoped one day you’d tell me what it was.’
He held me tightly and we stood there for several minutes, just holding each other, old friends finally united.
‘There were a couple of lads I hung out with at college,’ Lars said when we returned to the decorating, ‘but we didn’t stay in touch afterwards. I was too busy setting up My Study Hub.’
‘Did you make friends through work? I’m guessing it’d be harder to do that when you work from home.’
Lars paused with a vintage typewriter ornament in his hands, as though contemplating the best way to answer that.
‘I built up a fantastic team and, if you’d asked me the same question a year ago, I’d have said I was friends with them all but it turns out they were just virtual friendships. The business was what connected us and, without that, there was no reason for us to be in touch. Contact dipped off during the handover and I’ve heard from none of them since.’
‘Does that make you sad?’
‘It did at first. I was in touch with some of them several times a day by message or phone and, because I knew things about them like their partner’s name, whether they had kids, where they were going on holiday, which football team they supported and so on, I mistook that for actual friendship instead of for what it really was – polite small talk.’
He hung the typewriter up and reached for an inkwell. ‘I split up with my girlfriend, Cat, around the same time, although we’d only been together for three months. We’d never been right for each other and it was all very amicable but I suddenly realised I had no friends, no girlfriend, no business, and I was about to lose my home too with Nanna moving into Bay View. It hit me pretty hard. The refurb on my house was a good distraction but the last thing the builders needed was me hanging around all day every day just so I could have someone to talk to. Volunteering at the library was a godsend and then getting the job here brought me back into a world I’ve avoided for a long time – where people exist in real life and most of them are nice to me, which is a first.’
He was smiling as he spoke, but I recognised the vulnerability and I knew it cut deeper than a lack of friends. It was about a feeling I knew all too well. Rejection. From his parents, from the kids at school, and now from his former work colleagues.
‘Was it really bad for you at school?’ I asked.
‘It could have been worse. It was never physical but the verbal stuff was constant and not just from kids in our year. It was like every single kid in school knew who I was and had an opinion about my accent or the way I looked. Hundreds knew me and not a single one wanted to be my friend.’ He rolled his eyes at me. ‘Except you and I screwed that up spectacularly.’
‘But you made up for it spectacularly too,’ I said, wrapping my arms around him. ‘You can make up for it again if you like.’
‘Oh, go on then!’
I melted into another of his dreamy kisses.
‘I could do this all night,’ I said when the kiss ended. ‘Just as well Grýla and the Christmas Cat didn’t find me and gobble me up.’ I couldn’t keep a straight face and barely got the last few words out for giggling.
