Page 67 of Winter Nights at the Bay Bookshop
As well as deepening my admiration for Lily, overhearing her conversation had done something else for me. It made me reflect on my relationship with my own parents. I’d allowed Mum’s flakiness to define our relationship and that needed to stop. It was too late for her to be a mother to me and Nanna had already stepped into those shoes, but there was room in my life for her to play a different kind of role. And if she didn’t want that, I’d let go. I wasn’t going to keep chasing a ghost.
Pabbi was different. He wasn’t flaky but he wasn’t present either. I knew I carried some of the blame there but Ihadbeen a teenager so he needed to cut me some slack for that. I wanted him in my life and it wasn’t just because I loved Freyja, Kára and Ari. I loved my Icelandic roots and I didn’t want to lose that connection. It was part of who I was.
Emotional conversations weren’t my family’s forte but they were long overdue. I couldn’t mutterþetta reddastand leave it to resolve itself. If I wanted to keep my family, I needed to take action. Mum would be harder to pin down but I could commit to spending some time in Iceland with my paternal family. Like I’d told Freyja previously, I wouldn’t be able to confirm a date but I could tell her I’d definitely visit instead of leaving it as a possibility.
* * *
Even though I was desperate to see Lily, I couldn’t help pausing by the window display. The scene was a winter’s night in a miniature version of Bay Books. We’d attached strips of black card to the inside of the window to look like panes and had sprayed snow at the bottom of each. A mixture of festive titles and new releases were displayed on small bookshelves and in piles on the floor. A boy mannequin sat on a little burgundy tub chair absorbed in a book while a girl decorated a Christmas tree hung with bookish ornaments. The boy had blond hair and the girl was brunette and we’d commented last night how they could have been us as children.
The door opened and Lily poked her head out, grinning. ‘Admiring your first full window display?’ she asked.
‘I can’t help it. It looks so good. I can’t believe I was involved in it.’
‘Definitely plus points for creativity. And, as I discovered last night, there’s something else you’re pretty good at too. Or are you? Hmm. My memory’s fading.’
I followed her inside and took her in my arms, kissing her passionately until we both broke apart, panting and laughing.
‘Definitely ten out of ten,’ Lily said. ‘Twelve out of ten. Twenty!’
‘Same to you.’
‘Cassie rang me first thing, by the way. She’ll be back at work today. They kept Lesley in overnight but it was just precautionary with her hitting her head. They don’t think there’s anything to worry about.’
‘That’s great news.’
‘I didn’t tell her about us. Would you mind if we keep the focus on Lesley for now? I’m not trying to hide anything. It’s just a timing thing.’
I took her hands in mine, appreciating her honesty. ‘I don’t mind at all and I agree with you.’
The delivery arrived shortly after we opened so we set about unpacking it.
‘Do you still fancy The White Horse for tomorrow night?’ I asked Lily when we’d finished. ‘I can book a table during my break.’
‘How about tonight instead? I won’t be seeing Justin anymore.’
‘How are you feeling about it?’
‘Still surprisingly upbeat, although you might have had something to do with that.’
She smiled at me so tenderly that I couldn’t resist leaning across the counter to kiss her, hoping the door wouldn’t open at that moment.
‘Do you think you’ll hear from him again?’ I asked.
Lily shook her head. ‘He’ll have got the message and, because I refuse to give him any money, I’m no use to him. It does make me wonder if he only kept me in his life because he knew that, one day, he’d want something significant from me. That makes me sad, but it also makes it easier to walk away.’
When Cassie arrived a little later, she was all smiles. ‘Lesley’s fine. She’s been discharged.’
Lily rushed up to her and gave her a hug. ‘I’m so relieved. What was wrong?’
‘Blood tests showed she’s slightly anaemic. That’s what made her faint so she’s got some iron tablets and a list of iron-rich foods to get into her diet. I’m so sorry about letting you down last?—’
‘Youdidn’tlet me down,’ Lily said before Cassie could finish. ‘Family has to come first.’
‘Thanks.’ Cassie looked around the room. ‘It’s looking spectacularly Christmassy in here. Did you do it all on your own?’
‘No. I had help.’ Lily smiled at me. ‘It was a good evening.’
‘Oh, my God!’ Cassie cried. ‘You two kissed at last! Don’t even try to deny it. The air’s fizzing!’ She fished an envelope out of her bag and handed it to me. ‘An invitation to my wedding, although I could have saved myself the effort with the calligraphy as it looks like you’d have been coming anyway as Lily’s plus one.’
