Page 26 of Barn Burner
Cooper waves him off and lets us know Mom will have dinner ready in twenty, completely oblivious that he’s just given a verbal bucket of cold water to the bubble of denial we’ve been living in all day.
11
Brayden
“I still can’t believe you’re boning my teammate.”
“Don’t say it like that,” Jude snipes.
“Like what? It’s true,” I argue.
“It devalues what it actually is. I love him, Brayden. I’m not justboninghim. Boning. Fucking weird word. Just say fucking, or banging, or shagging, like a normal English person.”
“Ugh, fine.” I huff, leaning back in the Adirondack chair on Jesse’s back porch. He’s out on a trail ride this morning. I would have gone with him, but he fucked me so hard in the shower I knew there was no way I would have lasted in the saddle. Even now, I’m sitting more on my tailbone than my ass cheeks.
I’m not complaining, though, because I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy and content as I am right now.
“Can you just tell me one thing?” I ask in a teasing tone.
“What’s that?”
“What’s he like in—wait, no. I don’t wanna know.”
Jude snorts out a laugh. “You wanna know what he’s like in bed?”
I make a choked noise. “No. Yes. I mean, he’s a fucking grump, Jude. I can’t exactly picture him as a very… giving kinda lover.”
“You picture my boyfriend having sex?”
“No!” I shriek so loud one of the cows grazing in the field lifts their head and lets out a deep moo. “Damn it, now I’ve scared the cow.”
Jude’s laughter filters through the phone, and then it trails off, turning into a soft hum. “I’m only messing with you. All you need to know is he’s everything I never knew I wanted, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world because I get to call him mine.”
Despite the initial shock of finding out my brother has been secretly dating my teammate Cody Clements, I’m so fucking happy for them. Jude deserves everything, and after struggling with injuries and a trade to a new team, hearing him sound so happy makes my heart swell in my chest.
Meeting someone and settling down has never been something I’ve ever really considered for myself. I’ve been so focused on my career, on being the best hockey player I can be, that I’ve often pushed everything else to the side. I’ve never had a real relationship. Just casual sex and friends-with-bennies arrangements, but nothing meaningful. Nothing that makes me want to throw everything I’ve worked so hard all my damn life away for.
Until Jesse.
It’s like spending these last few weeks with him has been the eye-opener I didn’t know I needed. Hockey is a temporary lover. I know it’s not going to be there forever. I’ll be lucky if I’m still playing in ten years. Hockey is the lover I’ll give everything to. Blood. Sweat. Tears. And in the end, I’ll be left with a body that has aged beyond my years and more money than I’ll know what to do with.
I know I’m not ready to give up hockey yet, but I’m also not ready to give up Jesse, and that thought is like a dagger to the gut.
Glancing over to the lone cow still watching me, I clear my throat and say, “Jude…”
“Yeah?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, wondering how to word this without causing Jude to worry. “How did you know Cody was the one?”
Jude’s quiet for a beat, and I’m not sure whether he’s surprised by my question or whether he can sense that I need him to be completely honest with me. “Honestly? I think it was when I realized he was more important to me than football. You know me, Brayden. Nothing has ever even come close to the game I love. But Cody? He’s special. He means everything to me.”
I take in his words, feeling them almost like a physical thing. I’m not in love with Jesse, but it’s something I could see happening.
“Who are they?” he asks softly.
“What?”
“Who is it that’s made you question all this?”
