Page 35 of Barn Burner
“We’re going out?” I ask.
“Mhm.”
Jesse shuts the door behind us and leads me down the porch steps to where the horses wait patiently. I head over to Dakota,who bobs her head in greeting. Holding out my palm, I let her shuffle her lips over my hand.
“Hey, girl. You alright?”
She answers with an exhale that tickles my skin, and I can’t help but smile. Jesse holds her reins as I hook my foot into the stirrup and throw my other leg over her back, settling into the saddle. Jesse hands over her reins, then gets onto Prince before leading us toward the foothills.
I’m not sure if it’s a different trail from the ones we’ve been on before because it’s so dark. Jesse uses a light when we pass through some heavily wooded areas, and then we make our way up a steep incline. Dakota stays close to Prince, and Jesse checks I’m alright as we head further up, and the sky slowly starts to get lighter.
Once we reach a plateau, Dakota lets out a disgruntled huff, almost like she’s letting us know she’s glad it’s over, and I laugh. Leaning forward, I give her neck a pat. “You did good, girl.”
Jesse chuckles quietly. “She loves it, really.”
We continue our trail for a little longer, and then he gently pulls on Prince’s reins to bring him to a stop. I do the same with Dakota, and she stops beside them.
“We’re here,” he announces, and my jaw drops at the view before me. The sun hasn’t risen yet, but the lake below is almost like a turquoise mirror, reflecting where the sky kisses the mountain peaks.
“Whoa…” I gasp, completely floored that such beauty exists.
“If I’ve timed it right, we should start to see the sunrise in about twenty minutes.”
I snap my gaze away from the stunning view to look at the incredible man next to me. He might not be a man of many words, but he’s a man of action. Every little thing he’s done for me has been thoughtful and meaningful. He’s listened toeverything I’ve said, and sometimes things I haven’t said, and made sure I felt nothing but happiness every day.
He’s seen me for me. Not the NHL player or the guy who lost the Stanley Cup, but the guy who appreciates the small gestures and has a love for nature.
A small smile plays on his lips as he watches me with those glacier-blue eyes. The bridge of my nose stings as guilt burns in my chest at everything that’s gone unsaid. I swallow around the lump in my throat a couple of times, trying to think of the right words to say. But I don’t think there are enough words to tell him just how much all this means to me.
How muchhemeans to me.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice coming out all raspy.
The corners of his eyes crease as he smiles again. “I don’t know what the future holds, Brayden, but what I do know is the next sunrise is never guaranteed. When you leave, I want you to promise me you won’t allow anyone, or your insecurities, to stop you from living in the moment. From enjoying your life.” He glances out at the vistas, fingers flexing around the leather reins.
I chew on the inside of my cheek, willing to stop the tears from forming in the back of my eyes.
“Here,” he whispers, pointing to the eastern side of the mountains. The sun begins to crest over the top of the mountains, illuminating them in a golden glow. The lake sparkles as it breaks over the peaks, warming the dense forestry and my heated cheeks from holding back my tears.
I’m feeling so fucking emotional at the realization of how strong my feelings are for Jesse, as well as this breathtaking view, that I’m unable to stop myself from blurting out, “I live in Calgary.”
Jesse’s head snaps toward me. His brows furrow beneath his hat, lips parting slightly in surprise. “You do?”
“Yeah, I moved there almost a year ago.” I suck in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t expect any of this. I didn’t expectyou, but I can’t leave tomorrow without telling you.” My hands tremble around the reins as I say, “I really want this, Jesse, but my job is going to make it hard for me to see you. I travel. A lot. So I don’t know how it’ll work or how often I’ll get to see you. I might not get to see you until Christmas.” I swallow roughly, then let out a laugh devoid of humour. “I don’t even know if you want that. You might be counting down the hours until you’re rid of me?—”
“Brayden,” he interrupts, but I continue.
“But I don’t wanna not speak to you.”
He presses his lips together, the corners hitching up slightly. “Can I say something?”
I give a jerky nod.
He dismounts, and I follow, my feet landing on the soft ground with a thud. He takes my face in both hands and grazes his thumb over the high of my cheeks.
“I do want that. I don’t know how it’ll work either. You know my life is hectic, but if it means only seeing you occasionally but speaking to you often, then I’ll accept that. I’m not going anywhere, Brayden. I’ll be here, waiting for you when you’re ready.”
I can’t help but wonder if he’s referring to my career. I haven’t told him what I do outside of working in athletics, but he’s not a fool. He knows I’m not telling him something, but he’s continuously shown me patience, allowing me to tell him in my own time.
