Page 107 of Nearly Roadkill
Scratch said, “Uh, huh.”
“Dorm rooms weren’t coed then, Scratch,” Winc added, eyes glued to the road. “I’ve known Toobe since he was born. I taught him to skateboard. We skateboarded all over the place. But I wasn’t happy, except maybe when I was with you, Toobe, because you never really cared what I was. When Toobe came over one day, and I was dressed like… like I always wanted to dress, he didn’t even notice; he just wanted to go skateboarding. He’s always been like that. In some ways, he saved my life. He didn’t care that I decided to become a woman. I used to be a man, Scratch. Up until about a year ago.”
Silence in the car.
Scratch didn’t explode or do anything like I guess Winc thought ze would.
“Wow,” ze finally said. “This is funny. I mean, so ironic!”
Winc said kind of weakly, “Yeah. So, here we are, the all-American family.”
Winc kind of touched hir own face like a girl, which I saw Scratch catch out of the corner of hir eye. Scratch was smiling and trying to say something, but it came out in a whisper and just sounded likewait a minute, give me a minute. Then all of a sudden, Winc goes, “Could you drive, please?” We were still sitting in the parked car.
For some reason, that set Scratch off, like a delayed reaction, maybe.
“Oh, right!” ze exploded. “Gonna really act like the girl, now?”
Everybody was stunned, especially me. But Winc was real careful.
“It’s not that, Scratch. I don’t have a driver’s license. Ever since my change, I’ve kept meaning to get a new one, but when you apply, they ask you for birth ID, and…” Ze shrugged.
Scratch seemed really embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I think I’m a little tripped out.” Ze finally pulled out into traffic. “So, you’re a woman.”
“Thank you for saying that. Thank you so much. But actually,” Winc said, kind of pulling hirself away from Scratch and closer to the door, “I don’t think I can really say that either.”
Scratch looked totally confused. I could tell ze would have said something if Winc had said, “Yes, I’m a woman,” but now ze didn’t know where to go.
“So, um, what would you say you are, then? We came up with some cool theories, but you do have to choose something, don’t you? Well, I guess you don’t, if we’re really going to reject the two sexes—”
“Scratch? Can I keep talking? I wasn’t finished—”
“Oh jesus, I’m sorry. Yes.”
We rode on in silence while Winc regathered for a short moment, but it felt like forever.
“All I knew was I was not-boy,” Winc finally said. “Since kindergarten when they lined us all up.”
Scratch nodded.
“It was like gravity pulling me,” Winc continued. “To the other line. From then on, I just knew I wasn’t a boy. The more boy things thrown at me, the more weird I felt. So, with only two choices, I thought I must be girl.”
“That sounds so familiar,” Scratch said.
Winc turned in hir seat to look at Scratch for a minute. There was a question in hir eyes.
“I didn’t realize women went through it too.”
Scratch looked like ze was about to fire something off, but Winc held up hir hand.
“Please. So about a year ago, I had the surgery, and—”
“We’re kinda jumping the story a little, aren’t we?” Scratch interrupted again.
Winc sighed almost impatiently.
“I went through a whole lot of painful years crossdressing, feeling like a freak,” ze said in a hurry, trying to rush through that part. “I met some transsexuals, I read everything I could get my hands on, I decided to become a woman. Snip snip. It was done. Then I went online, and realized I loved being everything. Including wolves and lions… and tigers and bears, oh my.”
“So…?” Scratch started slowly. Winc smiled a little.
