Page 191 of Nearly Roadkill
“I guess what we’re saying is,” Winc adds, “is we’ve kind of retired from being at the forefront of that particular struggle. But so glad other people are taking it on.”
Winc turns to me. “So, who are you, Drew? How was it, being raised by Toobe?” Pointing to my dad.
And I guess that was it for gender. But then it hits me again… I’m talking with Scratch and Winc! And WINC’s alive!
“Wait a minute! How did you not just bleed out and die? I checked hospital records; assuming you were their Jane Doe, you were in really bad shape…. So how—?”
Winc opens her mouth to answer, and yet again my goddamn front doorbell goes ding-dong.
“Well, this might be your answer,” laughs Scratch slyly. Chicken jumps up, poised to run under the couch just in case it’s a pack of snarling dogs out there. Scratch gets up in solidarity.
I walk to the door, all dazed and confused, open it, and standing there is a gorgeous silver-haired woman and a craggily handsome older man. And even before they speak, I know.
“Hi, I’m Shel. I think you know my guy, Wally.”
So there I am, face-to-face with Wally fucking Budge. After all those months of trying to find them.
Of course I ask them in.
“That’s a terrific series you’re writing forThem,” says Shel.
“Yeah, you’ve got good facts,” adds Budge.
“Here’s a fact I wanna know: how did Winc make it out alive?” I ask yet again.
“Oh, has no one told you, hon? For god’s sake, they shouldn’t keep you in suspense.” Shel takes a breath, and out spins….
NEARLY ROADKILL: THE (THIS TIME I MEAN IT) REALLY, WAY VERIFIED EPILOGUE
“Well,” Shel begins, “I think when you last saw everyone, my hero here (she leans on Budge’s shoulder) told the cops that Scratch and Winc had gone in the opposite direction. But what he won’t tell you, because he’s so modest, is that that was the moment of truth for him. When he saw even more cops arrive on the scene, he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“As he watched his men run off in the wrong direction, he reached into his pocket, pulled out his badge, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it!” Shel chuckles her low chuckle.
“And then our hero—”
“Aw now, honey, I can tell it,” Budge interrupts gently. And I don’t think I’d ever heard such a smoky cigarette voice except in the movies.
“I didn’t do much, really.” He shrugs. “I just turned around and caught up to these two.” He gestures with his thumb. “Figured I might as well, ’cause I’d been on their trail so long. Winc was lookin’ pretty bad….”
“But still good, if you know what I mean,” laughs Winc.
Budge sighs and continues, “It didn’t take much to convince them I was on their side. I took ’em to my car, drove ’em to the hospital, and checked Winc in as Jane Doe.”
“Brilliant, eh?” Shelly purrs.
Budge smiles at her.
“And the hospital called mea woman of transgender experience,” adds Winc with a smile.
I found that clue! My inner sleuth screams.
“And the doctors do the good job they often do, and now I’m alive and well as well can be,” finishes Winc. “In the chaos of the ER, the staff was way overworked. Once I was up and running, well limping, they just sort of waved me out the door. No paperwork. So you couldn’t find record of what happened to me.”
I look around the room. Still kind of sputtering. Happily. “I can’t believe it,” I finally say. “A happy ending. Fer real.”
“Happy ending!” exclaims Scratch, smacking her forehead with the palm of her hand. She takes out her phone (Android, of course) and starts tapping.
“Gwynyth was right. She told me that we’d all be together in a room one day, and I should open this file and use password Happy Ending.”
