Page 46 of Nearly Roadkill
Out of habit, Wally Budge of the Federal Bureau of Census and Statistics does his hourly, albeit usually fruitless, scan to find any newly created alternate screen names for Scratch and Winc.
Search Results
0 hits on search criteria “Winc”
2 hits on “Scratch” = Mythter, O’Bere
A smile spreads across the craggy face of the cyber-gumshoe, as he happily adds the names “Mythter” and “O’Bere” to his database. So, he thinks to himself, Scratch is the careless one.
END JABBA NARRATIVE ENTRY
03FOMO
To:Editor, They/Them magazine
From:D.I. Drew
Subject:A bit more detail on Scratch
The simultaneity of their writings was a little spooky. I’d search for a journal and find that they mirrored each other’s entries as well as logging chat rooms. And Jabba nailed FOMO before FOMO was a thing!
Cheers,
Drew
TOOBE ENTRY
FUNNY OF THE DAY
The cable television company that serves Columbia, SC, aimed a live camera full-time at an aquarium to occupy a vacant channel while awaiting the start-up of the Science-Fiction Channel. When they replaced the “fish channel,” complaints were so numerous that they were forced to find another channel for the aquarium, which runs 24 hours a day, all year round, to this day.
—South Carolinian News
END TOOBE ENTRY
NARRATIVE ENTRY, JABBATHEHUT
Shaking his head in disbelief, Wally Budge reads the article one more time.
WASHINGTON—Sources inside the Bureau of Census and Statistics today confirmed reports that “a number of warrants” have been issued for the arrest of Registration Evaders.
“The only people who aren’t registering are people who have something to hide,” said Undersecretary LaBouchere, “and we have the full cooperation of the FBI and local law enforcement agencies to find these people and bring them to justice.”
All that extra muscle may not be necessary—the FBCS has been slowly building up its own enforcement arm over the past few years in preparation for yesterday’s Registration deadline. Bureau officials have declined to disclose details, but officials agree “arrests are imminent.”
See Registration Benefits, p. 3
Budge puts down his paper noisily. He drums his fingers on the table, blinks once, and a smile breaks across his face. Set a thief, catch a thief. Maybe it’s time to get a little help from somebody who knows the cyberstreets like I know New York City. A hacker.
Nicotine-stained fingers tap happily at the keyboard as Budge hums “London Bridge Is Falling Down.” Good for Budge.
Trouble for Scratch and Winc.
END JABBA NARRATIVE ENTRY
TOOBE ENTRY
I’m trying to remember how I met Scratch. It was online, I don’t know hir in real life like I do Winc. You make so many “friends” online, it’s hard to remember the details, which chat room or post. But I know I told hir to fuck off after a few letters cuz ze wouldn’t tell me hir age or if ze was a man or woman. I didn’t know that was kind of a point of honor with hir, but I had my own reasons for being cryptic. Then ze ran into me in a teen chat roomand figured it out. “I’m no predator after your ass, Toobe,” ze wrote. “I’m sorry I was so insensitive.” I liked that about Scratch. Ze apologized right away and didn’t try to explain it away like most people do. Ze also added that ze was in the teen chat room by mistake. I believe hir. You wouldn’t believe how dumb Scratch is about getting around online.
