Page 49 of Nearly Roadkill
If I ignore it, it’ll go away, he thinks to himself, returning to his latest memo.
To:FBCS Investigations
From:Undersec’y LaBouchere
Subj:Cough Up
Wally,
I think you’ll agree I’ve given you more than enough time to test out your theories about Reg vaders. Well? Do you have any leads? I have the secretary himself breathing down my neck. I need names. Give me what you’ve got, and I’ll keep the dogs away from your door.
L.
Raising his hand slowly, Budge makes to swat the invader from his domain, but with that inexplicable fore-sense they seem to possess as a species, the roach dashes for cover down the back of his desk.
Rich, dark phrases of disgust escape Budge’s lips as he stabs three digits into his desk phone.
“Yeah?” comes the smoky, familiar voice into his ear.
“Shelly, I got me an infestation up here.”
“You talkin’ about your office or your brain, Wally?”
“Har-de-har-har, Shel. I got me some roaches.”
“Yeah, well everyone’s got roaches, Walls. They’ll die.”
“Huh?”
“They’ll die. My guys put out a poison last week, great stuff. Roaches eat it, carry the poison in their bellies back to their nest, and there they die. Cannibals that they are, the other roaches eat the dead one, and they die. So don’t sweat it. If you saw one roach, you saw Typhoid Mary heading back to wipe out her nest.”
“Typhoid Mary….”
“She was the woman who—”
“Yeah, yeah. I know who she was. Shelly, you are an amazing woman, and if the girls and boys down in programming can build it for me, I owe you a steak dinner.”
“Build you what, Walls?”
But Budge just chuckles as he hangs up. Rapidly, he types:
To:Development
Via:Records, Assets, Materiel
From:FBCS Investigations
Subj:Not So Common Cold
Booker: Remember you were explaining computer viruses to me the other day? And you said they can search stuff out on the Net? Do me a favor: Put your head together with Shelly Dunlap, ask herto describe Typhoid Mary to you. Then see if you can come up with a little virus for yours truly?
—Budge
He presses SEND, and it’s not five minutes later that he receives:
To:FBCS Investigations
From:P_Booker
