Page 104 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
“Oh, don’t youdarestart that up again!” I threw my arms up in frustration.
“Tyler wanted to marry you. He was a fine young man from a good family, and you had to go and—”
“What, have sex with him?”
Both my parents balked, looked visibly uncomfortable.
My anger was boiling over, fizzing through my veins like lava in a volcano, and I was ready to erupt. Five years. Five long years, and they wouldn’t let this go. They didn’t care what I wanted. They didn’t care if I was happy. I was supposed to fit into the pious little mold they’d crafted my entire life, and the moment I wanted to be something different, they acted as if I was no longer worthy of respect.
That I wasbad.
Immoral.
Broken.
And you know what?
I don’t care anymore.
I had no shame left. I’d fed them a lie for the past five years, and it was time to tell them the truth.
I didn’t care how uncomfortable it made them.
“Well guess what?!” I leered toward my parents, my face burning an obscene shade of red. “Tyler didn’t leave mebecause I had sex with him. He left me because Ididn’thave sex with him. You know why?! Because I. FUCKING. CAN’T!!”
I had never screamed so loudly at my parents in my life. I cringed, not because I had any concern over what they thought of me, but because I realized that Devin could likely hear this entire conversation from my bedroom.
My parents wore the most shattered expressions I had ever seen from them. It was a mixture of shock, horror, and disbelief, and it made me so uncomfortable that despite my rage, I took a timid step away from the table.
“Avery, sweetie.” My mother’s strained voice finally broke the silence. “What are you talking about?”
I took a deep, shaky, unsteady breath.
“I’ve never had sex. It’s too painful. It’s related to my endometriosis.”
“God, sweetheart.” My mother’s eyes were glassy with remorse. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Howcould I tell you!?” I exclaimed. “You act like even saying the wordsexis a grave sin. And you expected me to talk to you about it? I was supposed to bepure. A perfect little virgin for my future husband. And instead, it became my curse.”
“Avery…”
“I felt so ashamed. So broken. And because of the way you raised me, I felt like I had to keep it a secret from everyone. I know you’re concerned that I’m almost twenty-seven and not married. Well, that’s why. Because no man, including Tyler, wanted to be with a woman who couldn’t have sex.” I pointed to my bedroom door. “Until him.”
“Sweetheart…”
“He doesn’t care. In fact, he’s the reason why I got my diagnosis. He insisted I go to the hospital. He stayed there with me all night. Because he loves me. He treats me better than anyoneelse. Far better than Tyler. But that’s still not good enough for you, is it?”
My mother opened her mouth, but she couldn’t say a word. Her jaw just hung there, gaping like a fish. I couldn’t blame her. I’d just dropped a bombshell on them.
My father, on the other hand, was stoic as always. But his eyes betrayed his usual stony-faced appearance. I could see a glimmer of sadness within them.
“Well.” I turned toward him. “Are you going to say something?”
This time, he was the one that couldn’t make eye contact.
Nothing. Silence.
“That’s what I thought,” I hissed. I peered back over at my mother. “I’m going back to my room. I want you both gone by the time I come back out.”
