Page 106 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
The soft voice intermingled with my dreams until they faded away and I was pulled back to reality. I opened my bleary eyes, blinking them a few times, until Devin’s face in front of mine came into focus.
Realization made me lift my head. “Crap. How long was I asleep?”
“About a half hour,” Devin chuckled. He was kneeling by my side, crouched on the carpet next to the bed. “You were out almost as soon as you laid down.”
“Goddamnit.”
“Avie, youdidjust have surgery.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I craned my neck to peer around Devin. “Are my parents still here?”
“Your mom is. I helped her clean up the kitchen, and we had a little talk.”
“Talk?” My throat suddenly felt sour.
“Yeah. Nothing major, she mostly just wanted to learn more about me. Don’t worry, there was no interrogation.”
“And my dad?”
“He left and went back to the hotel. Both he and your mom thought it was best.”
My chest relaxed at this news. I felt guilty for what I’d said earlier, about how them coming here only made things worse. But I knew my dad was terrible with ever admitting he was wrong, so letting himcool off at the hotel was a good thing.
I didn’t mind that my mother was still there. She wasn’t the one I was truly upset with.
“She does want to talk to you, though.”
I nodded, struggling to sit upright. As I did so, a hot blast of pain burned through my stitches, causing me to wince and let out a yelp.
“Pain meds wearing off?” Devin asked.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll have your mom bring some more in for you.” He stood up, giving my hand a final squeeze before walking toward the door. “Let me go get her.”
Devin disappeared into the hallway, and a few minutes later, my mother emerged from it.
She had a look on her face that I’d never seen before. A heavy mixture of fatigue, sadness, and remorse. She forced a smile, and it seemed to exaggerate the wrinkles around her mouth more than usual.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Her voice was soft and gentle. I didn’t say anything as she stepped toward my bed and took a seat on the edge of it.
“Where do I start?” She gave a sad chuckle.
“I’m sorry, mom.” A sudden ache tugged in my chest. I hated seeing her like this. “I sort of lost it earlier.”
“No, it’s alright. You don’t need to apologize. Avery, sweetie, I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. After you left college, you needed support, and all we did was lecture you. I’ve realized how much we’ve driven you away over the past five years, and it fills me with so much regret. I miss you, sweetheart.”
“You always acted like I was such a disappointment.” Her honesty allowed my own regrets to seep through. “Just because I didn’t turn out the way you wanted me to.”
“I know. Avery, I love you so much. None of this was your fault. You are your own person, with your own thoughtsand ideals, and as your parents, we need to learn to accept that. And Avery, you are not a disappointment. You are such a brave, smart, headstrong young woman. I’m so proud of the person you have become.”
“You never acted like it. And it’s hard for me to believe this…” I paused, swallowing hard. “Because you were always so strict with us growing up. The truth is, since I moved to Orlando, I haven’t been to church once. I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
“I’m not upset with you over that.”
“Dad is.”
“Your father will have to come to terms with it,” she replied. “Sweetheart, I’ve spent a lot of time praying lately. About your health and your recovery, but also about your relationship with the Lord. And I’ve concluded that your relationship with Him is your own, and that it’s not my place to dictate it. I only ask that you continue to live in the light. To treat others the way you wish to be treated. Because that’s what God truly wants from us.”
