Page 19 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
Well shit.
“Oh noooo,” Devin teased in a drawn-out, mocking tone. “Afive? Well, the Observer rolled a twenty-one, and you’re standing right in the doorwayyyy...”
I scowled, but I knew I sort of deserved it for ruining Devin’s riddle.
But when the giant eyeball-like creature’s attack missed, I nearly leaped out of my seat with joy, once again thrilled to deflate Devin’s ego. He huffed, rolling a die around in his fingers with a deep frown on his face.
“Alright,fine. He misses. Cass, you’re up next.”
We went around the table, taking turns strategizing against the formidable creature. The Observer’s central eye created an anti-magic area in whichever direction it was facing, so Liam and Cole used their fighter and barbarian characters to keep the Observer’s attention. While they bashed it in the face with their weapons, the rest of us slung spells at the monstrosity from a safe distance.
The Observer’s mythical actions were awful, with it having the ability to use the tentacles springing from its circular body to paralyze us, frighten us, or, if we were especially unlucky, instantly disintegrate us. After several rounds, we were all still standing, although Cassidy had taken a dangerous amount of necrotic damage from one of the tentacles.
While Aaron’s character held back to heal Cassidy, it was my turn to attack. I was a feral magic sorcerer, meaning that my spells could have unpredictable results—goodorbad. Devin knew this, and made me roll a d20 die to see if my spell went haywire. It did, and he howled with laughter, rubbing his hands together in a maniacal fashion.
“You know this could work inmyfavor, right?” I hissed as Devin flipped through hisCrypt Masters’ Guide.
He smirked. “Let’s hope it doesn’t.”
“Alright, d100… I got a 28.”
Devin switched to hisPlayer’s Guide, frantically flipping through the pages until he suddenly stopped. He was silent, and his smile was immediately wiped from his face.
I grinned. “So what effect do I get, dear Crypt Master?”
Devin gave a long, exasperated sigh, “On a 28, you can take another action immediately.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You mean… I can castanotherfire sphere?”
“Yup.” I could see the disappointment in his glassy eyes. “Go for it.”
To my surprise, right after I hurled yet another giant ball of fire at the Observer’s backside, Devin announced that I had delivered the killing blow. Liam and Cole cheered, and I shook my head with a smile. Behind the dead Observer, the halfling we’d been searching for was imprisoned in a small cage.
And, conveniently, the ugly beast had the keyring wrapped around one of its head tentacles.
It was getting late, so we wrapped up the session by returning the kidnapped halfling to the tavern and obtaining our reward, a heaping chest of gold. The preteen boys were eager to spend their coin on more magical items, but Devin assured them they’d have plenty of time for shopping during their next session.
“Besides, boys, it looks like your mom is here,” Devin gestured toward the front door, where a woman with the same sandy brown hair entered with a wave and a smile.
The boys excitedly babbled to their mom about their session, and Aaron and Cassidy were quickly swept up in their own conversation. Which left me and Devin sitting together at the gaming table.
“So I’ve gotta ask,” I said as Devin packed up his books. “How did we manage to defeat that Observer? I have enoughC&Cknowledge to know we were way under-leveled for that.”
Devin grinned, leaning towards me as if he had a secret. “Liam and Cole’s favoriteC&Cmonster is the Observer. They’ve been begging to fight one for weeks. So, I just nerfed the monster’s hit points so it would die quicker.”
I chuckled. “That’s cheating.”
Devin shrugged. “I mean, it was still a tough fight. But you throwing two fire spheres at its face in one turn took out a third of itshealth.”
I laughed. Devin laughed too as he packed up the rest of his supplies.
“You know,” he remarked as I walked towards the door. “You really should come to C&C more often. Today was fun.”
I nodded. It really had been. “Sure. Now that work isn’t so crazy, I’ll come next week.”
As I walked out the door, jogging to catch up with Cassidy and Aaron, I decided I liked Devin’s campaign after all. I’d had so much fun that I’d forgotten about the harrowing incident from earlier.
I groaned as the memory of it trickled back over me. I knew that even safe in my townhouse, it would still haunt my sleep that night.
