Page 35 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
Don’t.
Don’t open it.
But I had to. The anticipation would eat me alive if I didn’t.
Hey Avery. I’m so sorry about that. I panicked, and you deserved a proper response and not me just sitting there like an idiot. You’re an amazing person, you really are. But intimacy is important to me, and I don’t think I can handle—
I didn’t bother to read the rest. I tossed my phone across the bed, and it skidded across the comforter before smacking against the opposite wall and plummeting to the ground.
He can’t handle this.
Of course he can’t.
Even I can’t handle it.
It was over. That damning text was the final door closing on our relationship. I’d likely never see him again, and I needed to delete his messages and number before they consumed me whole.
Tristan decided my sexual dysfunction was too much for him. The problem was that I still had to live with it, and my ability to handle heartbreak was rapidly running out.
I grabbed my phone off the floor and tapped open my dating app.
There. Deleted.
No more online dating for me.
I was done. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
My illness had won.
Chapter 11
It all came back to haunt me the next morning.
As soon as my eyes fluttered open and I caught a glimpse of the ceiling fan swirling lazily over my head, the previous night’s events hit me like a brick. For the past few weeks, dating Tristan had left me giddy and excited, waking up with my head in the clouds and my body lighter as I went about my day. Now, it felt like gravity had tripled, and my limbs struggled to drag my body out of bed.
I hated this. I hated myself. I hated the stupid defective vagina that I was stuck with.
My gaze drifted over to my phone, and I remembered deleting Tristan’s messages and number the night before. Part of me wished I hadn’t, as I was dying to know what the rest of his final text said. But the rest of me was relieved. We were already done, and whatever else was in that message would only further amplify the ache in my chest. I needed to cut ties and move on.
But then I remembered that I’d deleted my dating app, which also filled me with both pain and relief. This time, moving on wouldn’t involve hopping back online to find some new match to be heartbroken by. I would move on by focusing on myself.
There was a knock on my door, and that was when I realized it was almost 11 a.m.
Jesus, I slept in way too late.
“What is it Cass?”
“You coming toC&Ctoday?”
Yes. Absolutely.Relief poured over my body like running water. I needed to get out of the house today. Right now, my wounds were still raw, and a distraction would help numb the pain.
“Yup. We leave in an hour, right?”
“Yes. Do you have your character sheet ready?”
I frowned, confused. I stepped out of bed, making sure my hair wasn’t too bedraggled, and opened the door.
Cassidy was already fully dressed and showered, which made me feel like even more of a slouch.
