Page 42 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
“Of course.”
He stepped toward me, placing the book on the break area table. My throat locked up. I had no idea what he was about to do next. I stood up, and our bodies were less than a foot away from each other. Normally his standing so close annoyed me, but now it felt like an invisible magnet was pulling me toward him.
He grabbed the bottom of his sweatshirt and began pulling it over his head. As he did so, his undershirt slid several inches up his torso, revealing his stomach all the way up to his belly button. I could see his full stomach tattoo now—it was a snake coiled around a fancy silverdagger, stretched horizontally just above the hem of his dark jeans. It was cut in half by a thin trail of hair, one that disappeared below his jeans and—
Stop it.Heat prickled my neck.Why does he make me feel this way? Why am I not opposed to it?
He tossed the sweatshirt over the back of the chair next to me. Underneath, he wore a black t-shirt with a menacing-looking Infernal character on the front. Its wicked, toothy grin stretched all the way across his chest.
But with the sweatshirt off, it allowed me to see the tattoos on his arms. That was when I realized that Cremara wasn’t a single tattoo – it was part of aCreatures & Crypts-themed sleeve that covered his entire arm and disappeared into the sleeve of his shirt. He held it out for me to examine, and my eyes trailed over the intricate mural of monsters fighting an adventuring party. In addition to Cremara, there was an Observer and a Shifting Beast, each in elaborate fighting poses with tons of detail.
“Wow,” I remarked, once again tempted to trace my fingers over the tattoos. “But I still don’t understand why you cover them up.”
I looked up, and my eyes met his. They didn’t hold their usual emerald brightness. Instead, they look glazed over with pain.
“Look closer.”
I leaned forward. And that was when, between the lines and colors, I saw them. On the surface of his skin, obscured by the artwork, were long red scars. They ran in jagged lines down his forearm, though they all seemed to be clustered around his veins.
It hit me like cold water being splashed on my face.
“Drugs,” I whispered, more of a question than a remark.
Devin nodded. “Not just drugs. Self-harm scars too.” He traced a few ragged marks below Cremara’s wing. “I’m nineyears clean, and I was hoping they would’ve healed more by now. But I think I’m stuck with them for life.”
“What kind of drugs?”
“Mostly heroin. I really went off the deep end after my divorce.”
Divorce!?I gave Devin a quizzical look. Marriage was a foreign concept to me, let alone the ending of one. I didn’t know exactly how old Devin was, but he looked mid-to-late thirties. Meaning that he’d already completed nearly two decades of being an adult. At twenty-six, I still felt like I was just starting out.
Devin must have noticed my confusion, because he let out a big sigh. “Yeah, I guess you don’t really know my story, do you? Before all this—” He gestured towards his tattoos and black clothing. “—I was a completely different person. Pastor’s kid, raised on religion, always trying to please everyone. I married my high school girlfriend at nineteen.”
My face dropped in disbelief.Raised on religion.Devin’s upbringing was just like mine.
“You’re kidding. I grew up in a super religious household too. I fled my hometown after getting kicked out of my bible-thumper college and ended up here.”
Devin chuckled. “What got you kicked out?”
“Uh…I…got caught sleeping with my boyfriend.”
Technically not a lie. I did sleep in bed with him. We just weren’t successful with the sex part.
Devin laughed, the usual mischievous glint returning to his eyes. “Damn. You rebel.”
“Oh shut up,” I huffed. “Now it’s your turn.”
Devin bit his lip. “You want to know the rest of my story, don’t you?”
I shrugged. “We’ve got time.”
“Alright.” Devin plopped in the chair next to me. My gaze was locked on his tattoo sleeve as he talked. “Well, let’s start with my marriage. We lasted four years. It was fun at first, we were two kids fresh out of high school playing house and learning how to be adults. But as time passed, Jessica grew more and more restless. Our parents were pressuring us to have kids, and she wasn’t ready. She was a dancer, and her dream was to go to an exclusive school in New York City. So when we were twenty-three, she applied behind my back.”
“You didn’t want her to go?”
“Quite the opposite. She panicked after she got accepted and confessed the whole thing to me. She swore she’d never actually leave, but our marriage was in ruin by that point. We were more roommates than husband and wife. I cared deeply about her, but we were no longer in love, and I didn’t want to be the reason she gave up her dreams. I still remember driving her to the airport. I practically pushed her on the plane.”
“Wow, that must’ve been hard. For both of you.”
