Page 45 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
Dev, I’m so sorry.
I wish things were different.
I spun around and paced towards the door. I had to leave. The longer I stayed here, my gaze lingering on his, the more tempted I would be to tell him the truth. And the truth would only lead to him rejectingmeinstead.
What man would want a woman that couldn’t have sex?
But I dared to look back one last time, once my hand was on the front door.
Devin was leaning against the counter, his sad eyes still full of longing. Confusion. And a heavy dose of pain.
“Please don’t go.”
It was one final plea. But as I pushed my way through the front door and let it slam behind me, I saw the last bit of hope fade from his eyes.
I ran to my car under the hazy setting sun, waiting until I was safely tucked away in the driver’s seat to unleash my sobs. It took nearly fifteen minutes for me to calm downenough to turn my key in the ignition and back out of my parking spot.
Tyler, Tristan, online dating…none of it mattered anymore. Tonight had changed everything. Because now, my heart belonged to Devin, and I’d just ripped it out of my own chest.
I didn’t know how I would ever recover from this.
I made it home twenty minutes later, my face crusty and damp and my stomach still caught in my throat. I’d managed to keep it together for most of the car ride, as tear-stained vision was less than ideal for nighttime driving on busy streets. But now that I was home, I could turn off the car, crawl into my bedroom, and curl up in bed and let it all out.
It was going to be a long,longnight.
And I still had to work the next day.
But as I entered the dark, eerily still house, I realized I wasn’t the only one who had a rough night.
Faint, muffled cries emanated from behind Cassidy’s bedroom door. I was surprised she was already home. Escaped pet situations usually kept her out all night. I was in no condition to console her with my own heartbreak still heavy on my mind, but Cassidy was my best friend. I couldn’t just let her cry in her room alone.
I tapped my knuckles on the door, and the crying stopped.
“Go away,” a sob-soaked voice shouted through the door.
“Cass? It’s just me.” I leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to talk?”
“No.”
I sighed.She’s just as stubbornas I am.
“Did something happen?”
There was silence on the other end of the door, until Cassidy spat out a reluctant “yes” followed by more sobs.
I took a deep breath, knowing I was about to ask a loaded question.
“Did it involve Aaron?”
She continued sobbing, but I could hear whisps of anger lacing her cries.
“I don’t understand,” I continued. “I thought you liked him. What went so wrong?”
“Ido notlike him.”
“C’mon, Cass. We all know that’s not true.”
To my surprise, the door whizzed open, nearly toppling me over since I was leaning against the doorframe. Cassidy’s face was just as blotchy and tear-stained as my own, but her eyes were full of fire and rage.
