Page 57 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
“And... you thought I wouldn’t want to be with you because of it?”
I burst into another round of sobs before I could reply. Hot, salty tears poured down my neck and stained the hospital blankets.
“Avie, I’m so sorry.” He cupped my puffy, tear-stained cheeks in his palms. “It’s okay. Really. It’s not a big deal. We’ll figure it out.”
“I’m hoping the surgery helps…but even after that… I don’t know how long it will be before I can have sex. Are you sure you’re okay wi—”
“Yes,” Devin replied, cutting me off with a firm, definitive answer. “Absolutely.”
I blinked in disbelief. “Really?”
Devin chuckled, leaning back in his chair. He raised a dark eyebrow. “You know what I think?”
I gulped. “What?”
“I think you seriously underestimate how much I want to be with you.”
His declaration shook me to the core. It made me stop crying, but it also left me paralyzed, unable to sputter out a response.
“It’s beenyears, Avie. Five years of watching you turn from a timid college kid into the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. And these past few months, it really hit me hard. You were always on that dating app, meeting other people…I told myself I could handle being just friends. But I still ached for a chance with you. I thought about you all the time. I told myself I was going insane. I even confessed to my old friend Scott about my feelings. And you know what he told me? He said—and I quote— ‘nut up and do something about it’. Well, now’s my chance, and I’m not going to let it slip away. So no, the sex thing isn’t a big deal. I’ll wait however long you need.”
“But what if—”
“No buts.” Devin cut me off, placing a finger against my lips. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
I grinned as more tears slid down my face. Then the giggles escaped me, and I sat there in my hospital bed, both laughing and crying while Devin gripped his hands in mine and smiled at me like nothing else mattered.
It was a horrible, messy, beautiful, perfect moment, one I would remember for the rest of my life.
Once the laughter died down, he pulled me towards him and placed his lips on mine. I kissed him back eagerly, and all my anxiety melted into thin air. This wasn’t like our frenzied tryst in the storage room. There was no eager exploring of each other, no pushing the limits of our budding relationship. This was a simple, warm, comforting kiss. One that told me how much he cared. How everything was going to be okay.
It was his promise that he still wanted me, regardless of my sexual issues.
He broke our kiss first, glancing at me for a moment with those adoring eyes before pressing my head against his chest.
We remained there, locked in a peaceful embrace, until the nurse came back to send us both home.
I had no idea what sort of pain meds they’d given me.
But I feltfantastic.
Myhead floated in the clouds as I sat slumped in the passenger seat of Devin’s car, humming along to his punk rock music while he drove down the dark city streets. We’d been at the hospital for hours, mainly because of how long we were waiting between tests, and pre-release was over by the time we made it back to Critical Games.
Jordan was still there, but Cassidy had just left.
Which meant Devin had to drive me home.
But as I sat in the car, my hand interlocked with his as I laid my head against the back of my seat, I wondered if I was even in proper shape to drive. The medication had eliminated my pain, and that alone was incredibly euphoric after enduring god-awful cramps for hours. But I also felt strangely…happy. Too happy.
Devin must’ve found it hilarious, because he kept snickering to himself as I belted out song lyrics in a very off-key tone.
“You’re adorable,” he remarked as we pulled into my neighborhood.
“No…” My body wavered in my seat. I extended a shaky hand across the center console and stroked his hair. “You’re…adorable…”
“Avie, I’m driving.” He smirked, pulling my hand away.
I normally knew better than to harass someone driving a car. But my head was still swimming in a fishbowl, and with my period pain quelled, it awoke a ravenous craving for my newly minted boyfriend. My hand reached across the seat again, this time landing on the soft denim fabric lining his inner thigh.
