Page 6 of Confessions of a Virgin on a Dating App
Maybeif I put on some makeup to cover my acne scars… or painted my fingernails…
Ugh, Avery, stop. Quit worrying about guys. Empty your mind and game.
That worked for a little while. I wasn’t usually a big fan of platformers, but this one had a cheery, vibrant art style, one that reminded me of a Disney movie. I was almost finished with the tutorial, my thoughts finally settled and at ease, when my phone rang and caused me to jolt out of my seat.
I flipped my phone over. MARIA & JAMES MURPHY.
No. Nonono.
I plopped the phone face down on my desk. I couldn’t deal with my parents right now. They knew little of my life in Orlando since I kept my distance and only visited them once or twice a year for the holidays. And even that felt like too much. It sucked me back into my former life, one of two-hour church sessions and cliquey youth groups and suffocating under the weight of my parents’ lofty expectations. The fact that I was almost twenty-seven and still unmarried was a heinous crime in their eyes. It was a major reason why I fled the Florida panhandle and settled much further south.
I clenched my teeth until the phone went to voicemail, praying they wouldn’t leave another two-minute-long message begging for me to visit.
My phone buzzed again a few minutes later, and I audibly groaned.Looks like my prayers aren’t going to be answered tonight.
But once I got the courage to pick my phone back up, I realized the notification wasn’t from my parents.
It was from my dating app.
The rational part of my brain told me to hurl the phone onto my bed and ignore it. For most of my twenties, I hadbeen on a journey to find myself – to gain independence and figure out who I was outside of my controlling parents’ grasp. But last year, seeing the number26on a birthday cake hit me like a sack of bricks. I was an adult now. One who was officially closer to thirty than twenty.
After several years away from my family, I determined that I actuallydidwant to get married. I wanted a handsome, sexy, sweet husband who I would wake up in bed with every morning. Who I’d cook all my meals with and who I’d kiss goodnight before I fell asleep. We’d play games until 2 a.m. on the weekends, compete inCreatures & Cryptsevents together, and spend hours debating our favorite TV shows and movies. I wanted a husband who I’d share my life with, build a home with, grow old with.
A long time ago, a different version of me thought that was Tyler. But it had been five years since we broke up, and I was more than ready to move on.
But I couldn’t.
Because there was always my big secret.
The reason why he left me in the first place.
I was yet to make it past the third date with any of the men I’d met, which meant I was yet to spill the ugly reality of my sexual history. For years, I had feared being a disappointment, being rejected for something I had no control over. But what scared me even more was ending up with a man who would violate me the same way Tyler did. One who wanted to solve my problem with force.
But I also had hope. Hope that the right guy would love me enough to look past my sexual problems. That he would be patient and understanding. That he would help me overcome this horrible obstacle without judgment.
I took a deep breath and unlocked my phone screen.
Sure enough, I had a new message inmy app.
Hey, I saw in your profile that you play Creatures & Crypts. That’s so cool! Who is your favorite class to play?
I chuckled. My fingers hovered over my phone screen, ready to type out a response.
Maybe this guy would be it.
Chapter 2
Iwalked into Critical Games the following evening with my gaze locked on my phone.
The same warnings echoed in the back of my head like they always did.Don’t get attached too early. You haven’t even met the guy. Remember how Anthony turned out.
Yet I couldn’t help but feel giddy. It all started the night before, when I fired off a quick response to his question before checking his profile.
He was one that I’d hoped would match with me. His profile picture was stunning – a clean-shaven, handsome face framed with golden blonde hair and a dorky yet glorious smile. His main photo was a headshot that showed off his broad shoulders and white-toothed grin. The second photo was him at one of the Disney parks, licking an ice cream cone and making bunny ears over someone that I assumed was his brother. And from that photo, I could tell that he wastall– his profile stated he was six foot three.
But his third photo was the one that really got my heart racing. It was him lying on the shoreline at the beach. Hewas shirtless, which showed off his tanned, chiseled physique. But his muscles weren’t the only thing that caught my eye – I also noticed an intricate Gyarados tattoo snaking its way across his chest.
Fit, handsome, and geeky.
